2009, Are You Gonna Be Different???

As of now, I'm 3 hours into a new year, 2009. For the past couple of years, I had been setting myself resolutions that I wasn't able to keep. Somehow, my instincts tell me that 2009 is gonna be different. Maybe the beginning of a new life, a breathe of freshness.

Personally, I feel I have grown in leaps and bounds towards the back end of 2008. It might not be palpable to outsiders but I know for certain that my maturity has gone up a notch in a few aspects. There are many areas now that I am looking in a more positive light, which is beneficial to my emotional well-being.

To pinpoint the reason behind this improvement is hard. I, myself, dun really know for sure. However, there are a couple of factors that I can probably attribute this remarkable change on - the breakup with Mei and "Tuesdays with Morrie".

I have learnt to appreciate my family and friends more. I wish to be their pillar of strength when they wanna be strong; I wish to be their guiding light when they are lost; I wish to be their bundle of fun when they are bored; I wish to be their solace when they are down. This is no mean feat considering the diversity of family and friends I have. I will still try nonetheless.

In order to help others, I need myself to be strong and determined. So far, my mental toughness has been my achilles heel. Without it, I cannot fulfill my aspirations. Stepping into 2009, I have encountered my first test. Under the most unlikely of circumstances, I have developed some feelings for this particular girl. Due to some reasons, I have to keep my feelings in check. I have too many other stuff to contend with so any additional emotional baggage or commitment is a big no no. It's one of those scenarios that you have to take a step back to move two steps forward.

Well... On the surface, she seems like a nice girl. It's a pity that I can't follow my heart coz there are too many more important factors I have to consider. Having said so, would I be able to withstand the temptation??? This only time will tell...