It has been a really long time since my last post, isn't it?!?! I reckon it has been at least 5 years since I wrote something here...
How much had happened in the past 5 yrs of my life!!! One thing for sure is I ain't getting any younger and the other thing I could possibly say with some certainty is that I am still stuck in quite a rut. Not really too much of a difference to when I last posted something😣
I have gotten my freedom yes. I have progressed somewhat at work yes. I am doing voluntary work on a regular basis yes. However, I feel I haven't moved at all, still trying to climb out of the dark abyss of dissipation. Dissipation of my time which would be better served achieving self actualization which I have been championing for quite a while.
Hai... How long more before I could really move on???
"Jin ku liao"
Self-Actualization
How long has it been?!?!
Been a jolly long while.... I have been wanting to post something ya know, go back to my blogging days. But somehow, I kinda lost the zest for it:( There are many factors really and none more so than being too caught up with work, slogging my life away to repay my debts and feed myself, basically to survive in this one hell of a rat race society.
The unfortunate passing of Miao's father and also the tiff I had with my gf got me thinking... Is this seriously the life I am after?!?!?! A resounding NO!!! for crying out loud!!! Then again, what have I been doing to suggest otherwise????
Every god damn day, I'm just going through the paces - going to work, heading home or gf's place, working out or spend a lil time with her. Far too many pple are leading this sorta life without having a single clue what and why they are doing it for.
To many, working is to earn money and inevitably, the more the better which in my opinion, is somewhat pathetic. It's a no brainer that we can't do no shit without money, but is the amt of money you earn the one and only denomination of success in your life! I would raise my hand up and say NO! To me, it's more of self actualization - finding your sense of purpose and achievement in your job, ultimately becoming whom you wanna be.
As for spending time with your love ones, the underlying reason for doing so is none other than LOVE. Unfortunately, not everyone, in fact most pple dun share the same sentiments as me. It's sad when you have a gf who is rather self-centred, doesn't reciprocate the effort you r putting in and is more concern with the balance of her bank account. How could someone like dat ever be a good mother, let alone being a good wife?!?!
Too many of those close to me are too fixated on temporal gratification and it saddens me to no end:( Right now, there are but two options laid bare in front of me - continue to wallow in the state of sorrow due to the current state of affairs or come to the realization that it's beyond me to help them find meaning in life. After giving much consideration, I have to admit that I really am too jaded with leading pple onto the supposedly right path (supposed my coz my view ain't everyone's view) so I shall just do the needful and in terms of others and spend more time and effort in seeking the life I truly want...
Daily Goal Setting...
This is my first post as a university graduate, albeit a private one. Being a graduate now having gone through university education, I should be better in many aspects - linguistic capability, academic and general knowledge - as compared to before. Unfortunately to my utmost dismay, I believe I have retrograded, let alone improve!!!
After all the trials and tribulations that I had gone through, I should have learnt and known better. Sadly, it wasn't meant to be. I continue letting myself be affected by stuff beyond my control when I could have channeled the time and effort doing something constructive for myself.
Being already 28, I seriously do not have the luxury to burden myself with unnecessary stuff. In order to buck this trend, something concrete has to be done. Something that's gonna make me a better man, exuding confidence.
Since primary school all the way through to university, we have been encouraged to set goals. I never quite believe in that, which probably explains why I perennially fell way short of my desired target. Not anymore m I gonna stop heeding the same advice given by so many teachers and lecturers.
As of today, I'm gonna set myself daily 2-tier goal. Even if I dun accomplish the upper tier, I m not too far off by landing the lower tier. By doing so, I give myself some leeway to gradually acclimatize to a life of getting things done on a systematic basis.
Avan Tan!!!! You can do it!!!!
Why Do I Have the Niggling Feeling of Shooting Myself in the Foot Again?!?!
First Huishan, then Mei and now maybe Audrey.... OMG!!!! Save me~
Busy Busy February!!!
Come 28th this month, I will be 27 years of age:( Hai~ I honestly dread growing older as it means more responsibilities and commitments but I guess it's a natural and inevitable process for all normal human beings.
It's the time of the year when I need to comfort myself by acknowledging it as nothing more than a chronological thingy, as such also something sorta physical. Spiritually and emotionally, I can still remain as young as an adolescent:-) I always believe that exuberance should never die with age. If you ever allow that to happen, it'd probably be a downward spiral in such dynamic times with almost every aspects of life constantly changing.
Considering my birthday is towards the end of January, it kinda ushers in CNY and Valentine's Day. For many years gone by, this period had always been busy even when I didn't have to bother bout Valentine's Day. This year, it's even more so given my tentative Valentine's Day date with 娃娃. I'm really really looking forward to it after a long self-imposed forbearance in courtship. Having said so, it undoubtedly weighs heavy on me:( All my life, I haven't really gotten many chances to plan and spend Valentine's Day with someone special. Bizarrely, I was normally single during February ever since I started dating. Simply speaking, I don't really have much experience in this field:( What if I fail to impress??? Hai~
After Valentine's Day, I have Daphne's wedding to attend. Planning on bringing 娃娃 along:-) It would mark my 1st time bringing a date for such an occasion if she agrees on joining me. The thought of it fills me with excitement but at the same time, anxiety. Can't stop wondering how it would pan out... I'm paranoia personified so just pardon me ya. I guess it's a way of keeping myself on my toes.
With so many events coming up, I would really love to put exams in the backburner but I can't. It just bothers me to no end coz the pressure to perform well is greater than ever!!! All along, I have great expectations of myself and when I was younger, I had met or even surpassed them. Without my mum breathing down my neck, to a great degree, I inadvertently allowed myself to overlook them for many years. Once again, there's someone to give me the kick up my backside and it's certainly most welcomed. At the same time, it is instilling the fear of me failing to scale the upper echelons of academic and subsequently corporate environment. Painstakingly, I am reminded that I used to be the creme de la creme of my cohort. I am reminded that I relish being at the top and receiving all the accolades and plaudits, and I despise playing 2nd fiddle. I cannot afford to languish in the doldrums with so many big dreams - penthouse, 1 carat proposal ring, lavish wedding, shareholder of Man United etc. OMG!!! The pressure is immense! If I crumble under, everything would probably go up in smoke...
Hold my hand and ride it with me. A future with you is worth forging and may we see our dreams come to fruition...
For a Moment, I Thought I Was in a Rubbish Dump:(
Tio my 2nd kangtao at Woodlands Checkpoint yesterday evening due to a noob shit taxi driver!!! Told him we wanted to go to the checkpoint and I suppose he thought we meant every sense of the word! He fricking drove us to the designated lane for civilian cars to enter Malaysia and panicked coz he realised he couldn't alight us there and he didn't have his passport with him! Flustered, he stopped the taxi in between 2 lanes, holding up numerous cars behind us. Me being me, I told him we were gonna alight since I didn't want the taxi fare to skyrocket. Even though I saw the "No Alighting" sign, I figured staying in the cab wouldn't do us any good either so I gathered everyone and alighted.
Without even covering 20 metres, we saw this plump malay policewoman waving vigorously, almost hysterically, signalling us to get back into the cab while she walked towards us. As if her actions weren't palpable enough, she was screaming at us to get back. Seeing how agitated she was, I knew straight away that we were in hot soup:( No doubt we were walking in an area where pedestrains are not allowed, I felt her actions were uncalled for. Why scream and shout when a simple explanation would suffice!!! We're no dumbass k, unlike the taxi driver! She must be suffering from early onset of menopause, causing her hormones to be imbalanced. Rather pissed with her for freaking out my 娃娃! Knnn!!! If not for that probable 20 seconds of fame due to all the cameras zooming in on us, there's a high chance I would've argued with her. In fact, I was all set to go after getting 娃娃out of the line of fire, safely behind me.
Soon, the cab was escorted into the parking area and we were duly detained in the ICA office for trespassing into a secure and protected zone. Honestly speaking, it was merely an honest mistake and it's gravelling that we were detained for close to 2 hrs for such a trivial offence. Apart from myself who has an unfortunate resemblance to the likes of hooligan, what could a senile greyed hair uncle, botak NS guy and a lovely petite gal conjure that associates with terrorism?!?! What?!?! The uncle removing his shoes and flinging them ard (will touch on this a lil later); HH smuggling a SAR21 out of tekong and go on a shooting rampage; or 娃娃petrifying everyone with her adorable wink??? I know we need to be vigilant and stuff in such climate but rationality should prevail sometimes.
For a short period of 15 minutes or so, we thought the office was a rubbish dump. The stench of rotting salted fish enveloping the whole atmosphere in the office, almost as deadly as HH's renowned farts. LOL!!! Deodorant and perfume were quickly utilized to mitigate the situation a lil but it was to no avail. Even rodents could have passed out from that very stench! Fortunately, I had some training before from HH's fart and it certainly came in handy. I did a quick scan of the whole office to find the source and initially, I thought it was from outside as the door was ajar. Nope... The ajar door was just a deception. The culprit was the taxi driver! Bloody hell!!! Removing his shoes in the office like nobody's business. Why do we even need tear bomb or smoke bomb?!?! I think we should just amputate his feet and use them as grenades. I reckon Bruno Mars would have been proud to use them as props for his "Grenade" MTV. Haha!!!
Having concluded the source of the stench, I informed HH and 娃娃. I believed the uncle read our body language and eventually wore back his shoes. Oei uncle, you fricking took bout 15 mins to notice our body language, slow or what sia!!! Slower la, we song mah~ Just for your info, it never come across my mind to compensate you more cab fare, not after what you put us through. Put ur nose at HH's ass and inhale deeply when he farts and only then, I would consider compensating you the 40 bucks you incurred while being detained. Lol!!!
Anyway, this debacle wasn't a sign of what to follow for the rest of our JB outing. Personally, the trip couldn't have been better when you throw some sniffing, interlocking fingers and a peck on the lips into the mix. Hehe:-)
Perhaps I Played the Wrong Card...
FML!!! I feel so guilty....... It's something I don't normally do and somehow, I contrived a plan which backfired, BIG TIME!!!
The truth just added salt to insult and compounded to my misery. I am too naive, I really do... If I had stayed pessimistic right from the start, at least 2 parties would have been happier. Kiang lor! Chong beng lor! Serve me right for getting too ahead of myself!!!
What is Avan Tan now?!?! Fricking nothing for crying out loud! Oh no, I am a lowly lifeform clouded by complacency, impairing my ability to think. Yes! That's exactly what I am:(
I normally think a lot, more often than not, too much for my own good. Having said so, I always arrive at the likeliest of scenarios due to my analytical capabilities. If I hadn't deviated from my original analysis, I wouldn't have suffered such a cold hard fall.
I concede defeat....
Early Days of 2011 Are Promising:-) Is 2011 Gonna Herald a New Beginning???
5th day into a new year and I must say I am really enjoying 2011 so far. Although the KL trip wasn't as fun as the Taiwan trip, probably due to the absence of my bro and the presence of his stand-in, with Jol and SQ ard, it couldn't be that dull. In sum, it was still a good trip even though I was on a really tight budget. At the very least, I can now say that I've been to all the Zouks - SG Zouk, KL Zouk and Zoukout. Hahaha!!! Not a bad way to start off a new year...
In no uncertain terms, I believe the underlying factor for such a good start has to be a certain gal. Perhaps some guys might think that it's so pathetic to let a single gal define a man's happiness but personally I beg to differ. She's not just any gal, if you catch my drift. Lol!!! Not many gals have left a mark in my life coz I'm not that sort of guy who allows such a thing. So far, only Huishan and Mei really had some kinda impact, albeit adverse ones. I have always been crying out for the one who would come in and start to make a positive change. To be frank, it's still early days to tell but till now, the signs are pretty positive:-)
Have been spending loads of time with her lately and it certainly feels good, discounting the occasional emo spells that she put me through. The most emo being the one in KL. I felt as if I went back through time on a time machine, almost losing my sanity! Thankfully, I was able to retain my composure. If not, Ken sure kana 100X jialat jialat from me. LOL!!!
Unfortunately, there are definitely some issues to be addressed. She's wondering how a relationship could last 7-8 years and eventually progress into a blissful marriage when there are so many temptations around, with gearing divorce rates justifying her worries. Hehe... A bit of quoting here. First thing first, a relationship isn't always gonna be in a honeymoon period especially when it's long, super duper long. A relationship is very dynamic, it evolves into different stages as time passes. Before you know it, it has gone from honeymoon to more like a habit. That's when both parties need to put in effort to spice things up from time to time in order to sustain it. Nobody likes a stale and mundane kinda relationship rite!
However, for a relationship to smoothly enter the habit phase, both parties need to be very comfy with each other. As I like to put it, no barrier. To attain no barrier sorta scenario, both parties gotta know each other inside out and outside in. This is the reason why I wanna go look her up after her facial; I wanna go look her up after she's done helping her parents; I wanna spend time studying together with her; meet up with her frenz and get to know them; share a drink with her even though she thinks that it's quite disgusting after how she always bite the straw and etc. The bottomline is that you have to integrate the other party into your life and vice versa. Only way you are able to do that is to accept his/her flaws, friends and family. Hence, in my opinion, there should be no such thing as unglam or any of that bullshit coz when 2 become 1, you love the other party for who she/he is and what not.
This process of integration also acts as a deterrent to infidelity, at least from my perspective. I feel that one that is rational and mature enough wouldn't wanna jeopardize a relationship whereby one could be herself/himself and still feel so comfy for a short temporary high octane new honeymoon period with another person. No doubt honeymoon is fun and all but is it gonna be able to progress into the next phase? Is the new person gonna be able to accept all your flaws? Even if he/she is able, how long more is it gonna take? If it were up to me, I seriously wouldn't wanna put myself through all these shit. Simply a waste of both time and effort. Sadly, for my previous 2 relationships, I didn't have the say. My 2 ex-gfs probably felt they have the luxury to try out a few more times. They wanna play the game. Well... Go ahead I would say to them coz I m tired of games.
So yup, I am trying really hard to integrate her into my life even though I dun really know if she's keen. Haha!!! I hope she does:-) Let's hope she would do likewise....
If Only I Could Split Myself Into Two...
A X'mas gathering without turkey and logcake is never complete. Even so, Fmus1's own-made quiche more than made up for the absence of a logcake. The gathering at Ang Heng's place a couple of days ago was indeed a pleasant with most of the Gee Meng Hock members being present and a decent assortment of delicacies.
I honestly thought I would missed out on the gathering this year due to work. I didn't even prepare a present for the gift exchange for crying out loud. Well... Amanda isn't my Fmus1 for no reason. She's like 1 in a million kinda fren. So sweet of her to bring an additional present on my behalf for the gift exchange. If not, I probably wouldn't have gone coz gift exchange has kinda become a tradition for the clique. Thanks Fmus1!!! Oh ya, whoever chose my present for me got me a computer mouse! A most welcomed gift considering the state my current mouse is in. All in all, I enjoyed the company of my peeps, the food and pretty much everything to do with the gathering. The only sad note is I didn't get the chance to have a proper chat with Timbre:( Fret not Fmus1, the chat is merely postponed. The chat is inevitable as far as I'm concerned since it involves your future happiness.
Having said what I have mentioned bout the gathering, there's no denying the fact that there's actually another place I would wanna be at that moment. Too bad there's only one Avan but this only Avan seriously did wanna go to the far far west. If only I could be at 2 places at the same time, my joy would have been doubled. Let's keep our fingers crossed that I wouldn't be facing this sort of conundrum in the coming years...
My Yuletide Is Not So Gay:-(
Working on X'mas Eve really sucked big time!!! Watching others enjoying the gaiety of the occasion and partying away only dampened my mood. As if that's not enough, I just couldn't stop thinking bout her. For a few hours, my mind kept wondering whether she's home already; whether she's resting well after a long day; whether she had some last min impromptu meeting with her fren or frenz, while my body continued with my bartending duties. It's almost as if my mind was disconnected from my body. It's mind-boggling how I even managed that but I just did.
I have been telling myself that I am able to retract as and when things start going awry but I can no longer deceive myself. I concede I'm well and truly smittened by her... On my part, it's still too early to tell if it's a good or bad thing since I am no mind-reader. What I do know is my defence mechanism is in the process of going into overdrive!!! The only thing that entails is a complete shutdown...
Following the shutdown, the system will reboot itself. Reboot itself to which state, that I have no idea. In truth, I'm not dying to find out coz my hunch tells me that it's gonna be ugly...
上海娃娃....
I should be in lalaland by now after having bathed and stuff but if I didn't post this entry, perhaps I wouldn't be able to sleep so well in a while. It's just something that I have to get out of my system...
As some of you should already know by now, I'm currently working as a bartender at Shanghai Dolly. Up till last night, I hadn't brought any frenz to check out the place or having frenz visiting me at work on their own accord. For the 1st time, I, myself, brought a fren to Dolly. I thought she might like the concept and certainly hope she wasn't disappointed by the experience. At the very least, I tried my best by treating her to a Flaming Mendi's Fav Car and Bacardi 151. I know my splurging on girls days were behind me but I still relish buying a drink or two for someone I cherish or fancy.
Given she isn't a very good drinker that she claims to be, she got kinda tipsy after 3 drinks - Flaming Lambo, Vodka Cran (courtesy of Jin Zhong) and Bacardi 151. Maybe Santa was giving me an advance X'mas gift, I was able to invade her personal space due to the alcohol surging through her bloodstream. Before you even start to think the obscene, let me stop you right here and now!!! No doubt she was kinda vulnerable like a lost sheep, it never cross my mind to devour her like a blood-thirsty rabid wolf. I won't deny I had done some unglorious stuff in the past, deep down inside, I am seriously not a desperado scouring the dancefloor for drunkard chicks. I would say the only advantage I took of her was sniffing her hair, something I always do as a show of my affection to someone that I genuinely fancy. It certainly brought back a tinge of deja vu. Ya know, like all of a sudden, I was back in an all familiar place. A place of wanting to fall in love again. It's kinda paradoxical coz it brought fear along with warmth. In terms of my clique's lingo, this kinda paradox is known as "Kangtao". Lol!!!
How I wish I could just turn back the hands of time and go back to the days when I enjoyed courtships and relationships without having to think of the obstacles and pitfalls. I want to be optimistic but can I?!?! The harsh realities of life forbid me from doing. Once you let your guard down, you are fully exposed and susceptible to whatever kinda shit that's out there. If only I could have her as my 娃娃, things would be so very much easier. Nope! We dun live in a world of happily ever after. We live in a world of Oops! Sorry Avan, I think you have shit thrown right smack in ur fricking face!!! SONG BO! PANG BO! Hahahaha!!! Sad but true....
I shall retreat to my lalaland for now where I could enjoy my few hours of 娃娃time....
2010 in a Nutshell...
It's that time of the year again, month of festivities and celebrations. As Christmas and New Year draw closer, they also herald the end of 2010...
Ask yourself my friends, "What have I accomplished or experienced in 2010?". I am certain everyone of you has gone through a wide spectrum events. Perhaps some of you with more trials and tribulations, while others are filled with more joyous occasions. Whatever it is, I think we should all look forward to 2011 coz personally, I have a feeling that it's gonna a year full of surprises and excitement.
On a more personal note, 2010 has been eventful for me to say the least. In terms of academic, 2010 officially marked the end of my highest qualification as an O'Levels holder and ascended me to an undergraduate with a Diploma in Business Administration. In case some of you haven't known, I'm doing Bachelor of Accountancy & Finance in SIM under University of London. So far, school has been fun due to the fact that I am blessed with the company of the 3 Avan's Angels - Puiling, Jolene and Audrey. Lol!!! I know in no uncertain terms that many guys in sch r envious of me. Sorry dudes, they are my Angels so come near them and I'd slash ur balls off with parang. Haha!!!
As for my job, I no longer work at the sleazy Ipanema. I am too cultured for a place like dat. Eh! Bo la, bo la, just kidding nia... I just wanted a change of environment. You peeps can see me concocting Flaming Lambos now at Shanghai Dolly. With a new workplace and sch, it's inevitable when it comes to meeting new pple. So far, I've acquainted myself with a few new frenz from work. Conversely, I haven't made any new frenz in sch, or hav I?!?! This Audrey la. She's also from SP but we took different majors. I already knew her name and stuff back then coz I thought she's the most attractive out of the 08 gals and my opinion hasn't changed. It was kinda like a coverted admiration hence, I didn't go all gung-ho and approach and chat her up. Not my style and never will be given what a shy guy I am. She had the "dao" face too which further deterred me from making any moves. Haha!!! As such, we never did talk back in our SP days. Yup, that's why I ain't sure if she falls under the new fren category. Actually it doesn't matter since I've always wanted to know her and I do now:-) I reckon that's more important.
2010 is also a year which I revisited both Taiwan and Zoukout. I am not going to deny there were some conflicts during the Taiwan trip considering the sheer size of the travelling group but all in all, I am certain that all of us had loads of fun barring claud. I so wanna go back to Taiwan soon!!!!!!!!! The same can't be said for Zoukout after all the major kangtaos leading up to it. All the "got tix, no tix" drained much of my enthusiasm. Worse still, compounding to my misery, I have no idea how I could lose my ticket before entering and made to pay a bloody 200 bucks to some fricking "ang moh" who was gloating bout how much profit he made from selling tix to desperate pple who couldn't get the tix through the proper channel. I was all prepared to go home coz I didn't wanna be held to ransom but my steadip frenz couldn't bear to see me go home and paid most of the 200 bucks. On hindsight, I was glad that I bought the 200 tix. If not, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy the company of my fellow zoukouters.
In sum, 2010 has been unkind to me with regards to monetary losses. 2 fines totally 500 bucks and then the zoukout fiasco. Hai~ It's ok. Who knows??? Perhaps 2011 is gonna be a "dua dua tan tan" year for me!
Oops! One Got Away...
I dun care how many of you may beg to differ, I AM A GOOD SINGAPORE CITIZEN! To date, I've contributed a total of 500 bucks to the government. First to NEA then National Park, both being arms of the government. Tell me how am I not a good citizen when I'm just a poor student who have contributed 500 of my hard-earned money. Sobs sobs~
Good citizen aside, I am still a normal human being. Being normal means I have constraints. In the context of this entry, the constraint is the threshold of holding secrets. Just like a balloon, it burst when it's overly inflated. I won't say I've imploded but I cannot hold so many secrets and eventually I had to let one out. The crucial thing is which one did I let out. This issue threads along a fine line between trustworthiness and betrayal. Fret not, my friends, who have secrets with me. Being a fricking steadip fren as always, there's no way I would let your secrets be known. They're safe with me and always will be.
Even so, something had to go and inevitably, I had to let my own secret be known. By doing so, I am not betraying any frenz and at the same time, lightening the burden of bearing too many secrets at 1 time. Having disclosed my secret to a few frenz, I'm not too overly worried coz they r as steadip as me. Hahaha!!! I believe it's safe with them. In the event that it isn't, it doesn't really matter. In the light of recent events, it will count for nought in the foreseeable future. Anyway, the secret serves a purpose, it proves that I still hold onto something indelible.
"A flying book that flew across a few desks that caused a bleeding lips started it all...."
Hiatus is Over!!!
Wow!!!!!! Finally the hiatus is over!!!!!!!
I must say this is partly to do with Ah Hui. Wait! Before you even think it's Huishan, it's definitely not....... Come on, dun be so shallow pls. I have friends with Hui in their names k. Have been reading her blog lately and it gives me some motivation to at least update my own.
9 months is quite a long period for me to backtrack on past events to detail on my blog so let's just keep it to the more recent.
In case some of you haven't known, I have graduated from SP and my highest qualification now is Diploma, no longer O'levels!!!!!! Having left it hanging years back, I've always wanted to finish what I didn't complete back then. Hence, this graduation is really really a great relief. Talking bout unfinished business, I've also resumed taking my bike lessons. I wonder if it's a sign, I'm steadily accomplishing my various goals 1 at a time. Steadip!!!!!!!!
Oh! The most important thing that I have to mention in this entry is that at least for once in my life, I'M AN UNDERGRADUATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's true that I didn't get into my desired university - NTU. At the very least, I'm doing the course that I want to at SIM. As long as I make the best out of this, the eventual outcome would probably still be the same. Although I haven't really gone into full throttle in terms of working hard in my studies, I managed to pass my bridging exams like I always do. Hahaha!!!!!! Not trying to be proud here coz it's really nothing to be proud of with just passes, just merely stating a fact. Hopefully it won't be too long before i really have something to be proud of to mention in my blog, and that's to get As for my modules.
I guess this is about it for this entry. Ur father is really tired after 3 days straight of giving tuitions and then 3 days straight of working at F1 and Ipa. I shall go take my long-awaited rest now...
PS: Hui ah, be strong k and may u find a steadip steadip BF soon. Yo sis, jiayou and meet up for dinner in sch soon. Grand lao bu, stay healthy in aussie land and good luck for ur exams. Bro HH, mai too garang in NS but also dun be too relac jack. Hope u r surviving well in army.
"Mondays With Psycho" Chapter 4 - The Invisible Caste System
In comparison, Singapore now has a democratic government built on meritocracy. Democratic as it may be, meritocracy has constructed an invisible caste system that grips the lives of all Singaporeans. Instead of being based on one's family lineage, this invisible system scrutinizes one's academic results which are deemed as indicators of one's intelligence and likely determinants of one's future wealth. As a result, the population is being subconsciously segregated into classes of academic attainment. Consequentially, this invisible hand is pushing us towards materialism that is slowly devouring the morality that makes us human, causing us to forsake the fundamental pleasures of life. Gone were the days when you could enjoy the company of your family and friends without subconsciously comparing yourself with your siblings and peers in terms of academic achievement and/or income.
Chocolates, chocolates and chocolates!!!
It's the festive period of the year again!!!
Maybe I Cried "Wolf" Too Many Times...
Back when the H1N1 pandemic was at its heights, I became my mom. Writing numerous parents' letters in hope of getting an approval for my Leave of Absence, citing fear of H1N1 as the primary reason. Although I reckon most of them were rejected anyway.
Alvin's Farewell Gathering
After Dead Silence, Comes a Sudden Twist of Fate...
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Omg!!! Ain't it awfully quiet in here! No updates, no pics, no nothing. Simply inactivity.
Hell! Where have I been for the past few weeks or maybe months?!?!?!?!?!?
Well~ Since it's halloween, maybe it's only fitting to start with an awful silence due to my sabbatical from blogging. As a matter of fact, the silence would have continued if I was at some halloween party but surprisingly, the party animal in me gotta lay low for some time yet.
So what exactly have I been up to lately? To be frank, it's the same old shit, ya know. Working, giving tuitions, schooling and falling sick. Yes, you saw it right. FALLING SICK!!!!!!!!!! Hai~ No doubt I've lost some mass over the months, I am still by no means a feeble wuss. I reckon it's a combination of factors that has taken its toll on my health.
Firstly, I haven't seriously worked out for maybe a year now. When I was attached, even if I didn't hit the gym regularly, there was still another form of workout I could engage in if you catch my drift. No exercise or whatsoever for such a long period of time is bad, real bad for health. Secondly, it has definitely gotta do with the 7-8 sticks of poison that I take everyday. Lastly, I haven't been sleeping well or eating well for the past few months. My biological clock is so screwed up that I could see an owl sometimes when I look into the mirror and bcoz of my haywired sleeping hours, I mostly only take 1 meal a day. Considering what a glutton I am, 1 meal a day is detrimental to say the least. If being healthy is in the pink of health, I would rate myself as a grey now.
Compounding to my misery, my new job isn't kind of helping with my sleeping hours. For those of you who haven't known, I am no longer working at Cafe Del Mar - heaven to those who enjoy the sun, sand, sea and a congregation of bikini-clad hot babes. Mostly due to financial reasons, I had to look for pastures new, or maybe old I should rightly put it. I am currently working at one of my previous workplaces with also loads of scantily-clad babes, albeit more sleazy in a sense. It's funny why and how I always have to work in an environment full of female presences. Perhaps this is destiny.... CRAP!!! Like I dig that kinda shit. I guess it's more appropriate to say it's in my blood to be surrounded by the opposite gender. If a human had 2 brains, no surprises which part of my anatomy the 2nd brain goes to. Lol!!! I know some of you must be eeeeeeing me. Like ya know, eeeeeee Avan this, eeeeeeee Avan that, so disgusting and stuff. STOP! You behave like that coz you ain't mature enough to embrace your own sexuality. Just like what SQ and Jol is learning in their psychology elective, human beings are about nothing but agression and sex. To be taught in a polytechnic tutorial class, it must be a scientically proven theory so dun debate it, rather, accept it. So you see for all the viewing pleasures I receive, sacrifices need to be made. The working hours are like 7-4am or 9-6am. Honestly speaking, it's more of the money than I being a voyeur for taking up the job and enduring the hours.
Enough said bout my new job or some psychology theory, let us now move to an extraordinary event of coincidence. I met Amy on the train while on the way to Yio Chu Kang just now! FYI, Amy was one of my flings. Meeting someone after so many years is coincidental but the incidents leading up to the meeting made it even more out of the world. Ok, long story short. Benny and I were heading to the SOmerset station after watching "Jennifer's Body". (The movie sucks!!!!! If not for a certain Megan, I would have left the theatre mid-way through.) We were supposed to go back to my place to be picked up by Ang Heng for Kumar's supper treat. At Somerset station before boarding the train, Lulu called to inform us that we couldn't take Ang Heng's car since it's fully packed so we needed to take his instead. That meant we had to meet Lulu at Yio Chu Kang instead of meeting Ang Heng at my place. Strangely, we boarded the train heading towards City Hall rather than the one heading towards Jurong East. We were probably too fixated on taking the train to Dhoby Ghaut to switch to the NEL to go Serangoon or maybe behaving like seat grabbing aunties that we totally didn't realise we were on the wrong train until we reached City Hall. We hurriedly alighted and switched to the north-south line heading towards Jurong at City Hall. Upon boarding the train, my razor sharp auntie seat detacting sensor locked on to a vacant seat and I was there sitting down in a flash. If I hadn't acted like an auntie, I wouldn't have been able to notice Amy who was sitting right opposite of me. My point is, if you rewind the series of events, I wouldn't have met her if we stuck to our original plan of meeting Ang Heng instead of Lulu; even if meeting Lulu was the original plan, I wouldn't have met Amy had we not taken the wrong direction; and finally even the original plan was to meet Lulu and we had taken the wrong train under the most unusual of circumstances, I wouldn't have seen Amy if I didn't rush to the only vacant seat as we would have just st00d by the door and be totally oblivious to the surroundings.
I am gonna contradict myself a lil coz as much as I dun believe in destiny, I do feel compelled to believe that certain things are fated in life. Seeing a slice of your past does bring a sense of deja vu. Hai~ If only I had kept her by my side, she would probably have made a good gf. Too bad,too bad...
Foray into LSB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TIO LA!!!!! BO TAI BO JI WASTED 30 BUCKS!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!
Hai~ Somehow, in a way or another, I got conned into going to this LSB (lup sup bar for the uninitiated) to meet a colleague's fren who's doing MLM.
Yes, I am guilty as charged as one of those who made fun of mendi's LSB exploits. Even so, I dun deny the fact that I would like to experience it at least once. Having said so, I didn't want my first foray to happen like that, in the company of complete strangers barring one, under those kinda circumstances.
To make matters worse, I already told my colleague that I didn't want a hostess to keep me company given how uncomfortable I was feeling with so many unfamiliar faces staring at me. Before I could even bail myself out of the stifling atmosphere, what I dreaded most happened to transpire.
A voluptuous TKB (Tiong Kok Bu) with bosoms squeezed to the brink of explosion, armed with kevlar thick make-up and clad in contour accentuating tight cleavage exposing dress sat beside me with barely 1 millimetre of space apart. Wow!!! A lesser man would be staring at her you know where non-stop.
As I wasn't prepared for her entrance and never wanted her company in the first place, I kept my eyes and hands off her and gave her the cold shoulders. In all honesty, I was a lil tempted to you know but I seriously seriously didn't wanna spend money. Unperturbed by my nonchalance, she started making her move on me by invading my privacy or should I say outraging my modesty. Lol!!! With one hand caressing my thigh and the other pouring drinks for me, it was apparent that she was trying her very best to induce me into action by getting me high and aroused. Sorry lady, you chose the wrong client at the wrong place at the wrong time. If you were my gf, I could've and would've done it in a heartbeat. Too bad! Hanky-panky with a charge of 30 bucks under the scrutiny of pple I barely even know is an absolute no-go for me. Sian half, she finally decided to leave the room and seek for pastures new.
Since I was already there, I tried my best to put on my fakest facade and socialise a lil here and there by playing pool and having a few drinks. Sensing a wee bit of weariness; and a hell lot of discomfort in my eyes from the chimney like room, I decided to take my leave. It was then when my colleague dropped the bombshell. "Avan, wait for ur girl to come back la. You gotta pay her the tips before leaving if not will suay." He said. I told him I didn't do anything for crying out loud so why should I even tip her! Well mate... It seems that I got it all wrong. For most LSBs, you gotta tip the girl once she sits beside you and makes her move no matter whether you reciprocate. Not wanting to stay any longer, I duly passed the money to my colleague and left the place before more Kang Taos crop up.
Evidently, I wasn't the single bit pleased. My first experience was a Kang Tao and kinda a big one. On the flipside, and as a mean of consolation, at least I know what a LSB is like now.
Changed I had or have I???
Happened to see sharon's mom when I went over for tuition last sunday and her first reaction was, "Avan! U've lost a lot of weight!!!" I reckon it wasn't weight that I lost, it is more of mass. In fact, some of my friends that I hadn't met for a while all said I look different.
