For a Moment, I Thought I Was in a Rubbish Dump:(

Tio my 2nd kangtao at Woodlands Checkpoint yesterday evening due to a noob shit taxi driver!!! Told him we wanted to go to the checkpoint and I suppose he thought we meant every sense of the word! He fricking drove us to the designated lane for civilian cars to enter Malaysia and panicked coz he realised he couldn't alight us there and he didn't have his passport with him! Flustered, he stopped the taxi in between 2 lanes, holding up numerous cars behind us. Me being me, I told him we were gonna alight since I didn't want the taxi fare to skyrocket. Even though I saw the "No Alighting" sign, I figured staying in the cab wouldn't do us any good either so I gathered everyone and alighted.

Without even covering 20 metres, we saw this plump malay policewoman waving vigorously, almost hysterically, signalling us to get back into the cab while she walked towards us. As if her actions weren't palpable enough, she was screaming at us to get back. Seeing how agitated she was, I knew straight away that we were in hot soup:( No doubt we were walking in an area where pedestrains are not allowed, I felt her actions were uncalled for. Why scream and shout when a simple explanation would suffice!!! We're no dumbass k, unlike the taxi driver! She must be suffering from early onset of menopause, causing her hormones to be imbalanced. Rather pissed with her for freaking out my 娃娃! Knnn!!! If not for that probable 20 seconds of fame due to all the cameras zooming in on us, there's a high chance I would've argued with her. In fact, I was all set to go after getting 娃娃out of the line of fire, safely behind me.

Soon, the cab was escorted into the parking area and we were duly detained in the ICA office for trespassing into a secure and protected zone. Honestly speaking, it was merely an honest mistake and it's gravelling that we were detained for close to 2 hrs for such a trivial offence. Apart from myself who has an unfortunate resemblance to the likes of hooligan, what could a senile greyed hair uncle, botak NS guy and a lovely petite gal conjure that associates with terrorism?!?! What?!?! The uncle removing his shoes and flinging them ard (will touch on this a lil later); HH smuggling a SAR21 out of tekong and go on a shooting rampage; or 娃娃petrifying everyone with her adorable wink??? I know we need to be vigilant and stuff in such climate but rationality should prevail sometimes.

For a short period of 15 minutes or so, we thought the office was a rubbish dump. The stench of rotting salted fish enveloping the whole atmosphere in the office, almost as deadly as HH's renowned farts. LOL!!! Deodorant and perfume were quickly utilized to mitigate the situation a lil but it was to no avail. Even rodents could have passed out from that very stench! Fortunately, I had some training before from HH's fart and it certainly came in handy. I did a quick scan of the whole office to find the source and initially, I thought it was from outside as the door was ajar. Nope... The ajar door was just a deception. The culprit was the taxi driver! Bloody hell!!! Removing his shoes in the office like nobody's business. Why do we even need tear bomb or smoke bomb?!?! I think we should just amputate his feet and use them as grenades. I reckon Bruno Mars would have been proud to use them as props for his "Grenade" MTV. Haha!!!

Having concluded the source of the stench, I informed HH and 娃娃. I believed the uncle read our body language and eventually wore back his shoes. Oei uncle, you fricking took bout 15 mins to notice our body language, slow or what sia!!! Slower la, we song mah~ Just for your info, it never come across my mind to compensate you more cab fare, not after what you put us through. Put ur nose at HH's ass and inhale deeply when he farts and only then, I would consider compensating you the 40 bucks you incurred while being detained. Lol!!!

Anyway, this debacle wasn't a sign of what to follow for the rest of our JB outing. Personally, the trip couldn't have been better when you throw some sniffing, interlocking fingers and a peck on the lips into the mix. Hehe:-)

Perhaps I Played the Wrong Card...

FML!!! I feel so guilty....... It's something I don't normally do and somehow, I contrived a plan which backfired, BIG TIME!!!

The truth just added salt to insult and compounded to my misery. I am too naive, I really do... If I had stayed pessimistic right from the start, at least 2 parties would have been happier. Kiang lor! Chong beng lor! Serve me right for getting too ahead of myself!!!

What is Avan Tan now?!?! Fricking nothing for crying out loud! Oh no, I am a lowly lifeform clouded by complacency, impairing my ability to think. Yes! That's exactly what I am:(

I normally think a lot, more often than not, too much for my own good. Having said so, I always arrive at the likeliest of scenarios due to my analytical capabilities. If I hadn't deviated from my original analysis, I wouldn't have suffered such a cold hard fall.

I concede defeat....

Early Days of 2011 Are Promising:-) Is 2011 Gonna Herald a New Beginning???

5th day into a new year and I must say I am really enjoying 2011 so far. Although the KL trip wasn't as fun as the Taiwan trip, probably due to the absence of my bro and the presence of his stand-in, with Jol and SQ ard, it couldn't be that dull. In sum, it was still a good trip even though I was on a really tight budget. At the very least, I can now say that I've been to all the Zouks - SG Zouk, KL Zouk and Zoukout. Hahaha!!! Not a bad way to start off a new year...

In no uncertain terms, I believe the underlying factor for such a good start has to be a certain gal. Perhaps some guys might think that it's so pathetic to let a single gal define a man's happiness but personally I beg to differ. She's not just any gal, if you catch my drift. Lol!!! Not many gals have left a mark in my life coz I'm not that sort of guy who allows such a thing. So far, only Huishan and Mei really had some kinda impact, albeit adverse ones. I have always been crying out for the one who would come in and start to make a positive change. To be frank, it's still early days to tell but till now, the signs are pretty positive:-)

Have been spending loads of time with her lately and it certainly feels good, discounting the occasional emo spells that she put me through. The most emo being the one in KL. I felt as if I went back through time on a time machine, almost losing my sanity! Thankfully, I was able to retain my composure. If not, Ken sure kana 100X jialat jialat from me. LOL!!!

Unfortunately, there are definitely some issues to be addressed. She's wondering how a relationship could last 7-8 years and eventually progress into a blissful marriage when there are so many temptations around, with gearing divorce rates justifying her worries. Hehe... A bit of quoting here. First thing first, a relationship isn't always gonna be in a honeymoon period especially when it's long, super duper long. A relationship is very dynamic, it evolves into different stages as time passes. Before you know it, it has gone from honeymoon to more like a habit. That's when both parties need to put in effort to spice things up from time to time in order to sustain it. Nobody likes a stale and mundane kinda relationship rite!

However, for a relationship to smoothly enter the habit phase, both parties need to be very comfy with each other. As I like to put it, no barrier. To attain no barrier sorta scenario, both parties gotta know each other inside out and outside in. This is the reason why I wanna go look her up after her facial; I wanna go look her up after she's done helping her parents; I wanna spend time studying together with her; meet up with her frenz and get to know them; share a drink with her even though she thinks that it's quite disgusting after how she always bite the straw and etc. The bottomline is that you have to integrate the other party into your life and vice versa. Only way you are able to do that is to accept his/her flaws, friends and family. Hence, in my opinion, there should be no such thing as unglam or any of that bullshit coz when 2 become 1, you love the other party for who she/he is and what not.

This process of integration also acts as a deterrent to infidelity, at least from my perspective. I feel that one that is rational and mature enough wouldn't wanna jeopardize a relationship whereby one could be herself/himself and still feel so comfy for a short temporary high octane new honeymoon period with another person. No doubt honeymoon is fun and all but is it gonna be able to progress into the next phase? Is the new person gonna be able to accept all your flaws? Even if he/she is able, how long more is it gonna take? If it were up to me, I seriously wouldn't wanna put myself through all these shit. Simply a waste of both time and effort. Sadly, for my previous 2 relationships, I didn't have the say. My 2 ex-gfs probably felt they have the luxury to try out a few more times. They wanna play the game. Well... Go ahead I would say to them coz I m tired of games.

So yup, I am trying really hard to integrate her into my life even though I dun really know if she's keen. Haha!!! I hope she does:-) Let's hope she would do likewise....

If Only I Could Split Myself Into Two...

A X'mas gathering without turkey and logcake is never complete. Even so, Fmus1's own-made quiche more than made up for the absence of a logcake. The gathering at Ang Heng's place a couple of days ago was indeed a pleasant with most of the Gee Meng Hock members being present and a decent assortment of delicacies.

I honestly thought I would missed out on the gathering this year due to work. I didn't even prepare a present for the gift exchange for crying out loud. Well... Amanda isn't my Fmus1 for no reason. She's like 1 in a million kinda fren. So sweet of her to bring an additional present on my behalf for the gift exchange. If not, I probably wouldn't have gone coz gift exchange has kinda become a tradition for the clique. Thanks Fmus1!!! Oh ya, whoever chose my present for me got me a computer mouse! A most welcomed gift considering the state my current mouse is in. All in all, I enjoyed the company of my peeps, the food and pretty much everything to do with the gathering. The only sad note is I didn't get the chance to have a proper chat with Timbre:( Fret not Fmus1, the chat is merely postponed. The chat is inevitable as far as I'm concerned since it involves your future happiness.

Having said what I have mentioned bout the gathering, there's no denying the fact that there's actually another place I would wanna be at that moment. Too bad there's only one Avan but this only Avan seriously did wanna go to the far far west. If only I could be at 2 places at the same time, my joy would have been doubled. Let's keep our fingers crossed that I wouldn't be facing this sort of conundrum in the coming years...

My Yuletide Is Not So Gay:-(

Working on X'mas Eve really sucked big time!!! Watching others enjoying the gaiety of the occasion and partying away only dampened my mood. As if that's not enough, I just couldn't stop thinking bout her. For a few hours, my mind kept wondering whether she's home already; whether she's resting well after a long day; whether she had some last min impromptu meeting with her fren or frenz, while my body continued with my bartending duties. It's almost as if my mind was disconnected from my body. It's mind-boggling how I even managed that but I just did.

I have been telling myself that I am able to retract as and when things start going awry but I can no longer deceive myself. I concede I'm well and truly smittened by her... On my part, it's still too early to tell if it's a good or bad thing since I am no mind-reader. What I do know is my defence mechanism is in the process of going into overdrive!!! The only thing that entails is a complete shutdown...

Following the shutdown, the system will reboot itself. Reboot itself to which state, that I have no idea. In truth, I'm not dying to find out coz my hunch tells me that it's gonna be ugly...

上海娃娃....

I should be in lalaland by now after having bathed and stuff but if I didn't post this entry, perhaps I wouldn't be able to sleep so well in a while. It's just something that I have to get out of my system...

As some of you should already know by now, I'm currently working as a bartender at Shanghai Dolly. Up till last night, I hadn't brought any frenz to check out the place or having frenz visiting me at work on their own accord. For the 1st time, I, myself, brought a fren to Dolly. I thought she might like the concept and certainly hope she wasn't disappointed by the experience. At the very least, I tried my best by treating her to a Flaming Mendi's Fav Car and Bacardi 151. I know my splurging on girls days were behind me but I still relish buying a drink or two for someone I cherish or fancy.

Given she isn't a very good drinker that she claims to be, she got kinda tipsy after 3 drinks - Flaming Lambo, Vodka Cran (courtesy of Jin Zhong) and Bacardi 151. Maybe Santa was giving me an advance X'mas gift, I was able to invade her personal space due to the alcohol surging through her bloodstream. Before you even start to think the obscene, let me stop you right here and now!!! No doubt she was kinda vulnerable like a lost sheep, it never cross my mind to devour her like a blood-thirsty rabid wolf. I won't deny I had done some unglorious stuff in the past, deep down inside, I am seriously not a desperado scouring the dancefloor for drunkard chicks. I would say the only advantage I took of her was sniffing her hair, something I always do as a show of my affection to someone that I genuinely fancy. It certainly brought back a tinge of deja vu. Ya know, like all of a sudden, I was back in an all familiar place. A place of wanting to fall in love again. It's kinda paradoxical coz it brought fear along with warmth. In terms of my clique's lingo, this kinda paradox is known as "Kangtao". Lol!!!

How I wish I could just turn back the hands of time and go back to the days when I enjoyed courtships and relationships without having to think of the obstacles and pitfalls. I want to be optimistic but can I?!?! The harsh realities of life forbid me from doing. Once you let your guard down, you are fully exposed and susceptible to whatever kinda shit that's out there. If only I could have her as my 娃娃, things would be so very much easier. Nope! We dun live in a world of happily ever after. We live in a world of Oops! Sorry Avan, I think you have shit thrown right smack in ur fricking face!!! SONG BO! PANG BO! Hahahaha!!! Sad but true....

I shall retreat to my lalaland for now where I could enjoy my few hours of 娃娃time....

2010 in a Nutshell...

It's that time of the year again, month of festivities and celebrations. As Christmas and New Year draw closer, they also herald the end of 2010...

Ask yourself my friends, "What have I accomplished or experienced in 2010?". I am certain everyone of you has gone through a wide spectrum events. Perhaps some of you with more trials and tribulations, while others are filled with more joyous occasions. Whatever it is, I think we should all look forward to 2011 coz personally, I have a feeling that it's gonna a year full of surprises and excitement.

On a more personal note, 2010 has been eventful for me to say the least. In terms of academic, 2010 officially marked the end of my highest qualification as an O'Levels holder and ascended me to an undergraduate with a Diploma in Business Administration. In case some of you haven't known, I'm doing Bachelor of Accountancy & Finance in SIM under University of London. So far, school has been fun due to the fact that I am blessed with the company of the 3 Avan's Angels - Puiling, Jolene and Audrey. Lol!!! I know in no uncertain terms that many guys in sch r envious of me. Sorry dudes, they are my Angels so come near them and I'd slash ur balls off with parang. Haha!!!

As for my job, I no longer work at the sleazy Ipanema. I am too cultured for a place like dat. Eh! Bo la, bo la, just kidding nia... I just wanted a change of environment. You peeps can see me concocting Flaming Lambos now at Shanghai Dolly. With a new workplace and sch, it's inevitable when it comes to meeting new pple. So far, I've acquainted myself with a few new frenz from work. Conversely, I haven't made any new frenz in sch, or hav I?!?! This Audrey la. She's also from SP but we took different majors. I already knew her name and stuff back then coz I thought she's the most attractive out of the 08 gals and my opinion hasn't changed. It was kinda like a coverted admiration hence, I didn't go all gung-ho and approach and chat her up. Not my style and never will be given what a shy guy I am. She had the "dao" face too which further deterred me from making any moves. Haha!!! As such, we never did talk back in our SP days. Yup, that's why I ain't sure if she falls under the new fren category. Actually it doesn't matter since I've always wanted to know her and I do now:-) I reckon that's more important.

2010 is also a year which I revisited both Taiwan and Zoukout. I am not going to deny there were some conflicts during the Taiwan trip considering the sheer size of the travelling group but all in all, I am certain that all of us had loads of fun barring claud. I so wanna go back to Taiwan soon!!!!!!!!! The same can't be said for Zoukout after all the major kangtaos leading up to it. All the "got tix, no tix" drained much of my enthusiasm. Worse still, compounding to my misery, I have no idea how I could lose my ticket before entering and made to pay a bloody 200 bucks to some fricking "ang moh" who was gloating bout how much profit he made from selling tix to desperate pple who couldn't get the tix through the proper channel. I was all prepared to go home coz I didn't wanna be held to ransom but my steadip frenz couldn't bear to see me go home and paid most of the 200 bucks. On hindsight, I was glad that I bought the 200 tix. If not, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy the company of my fellow zoukouters.

In sum, 2010 has been unkind to me with regards to monetary losses. 2 fines totally 500 bucks and then the zoukout fiasco. Hai~ It's ok. Who knows??? Perhaps 2011 is gonna be a "dua dua tan tan" year for me!