Where is my facade???

Did I lose my facade with the liberation of my soul....

In more ways than one, I feel I've grown stronger. Maybe not quite physically, but definitely mentally and emotionally. This is probably why I no longer need a mask where I hide all my emotions.

Still, it is always a risk to bare ur all in this god forsaken world. HH revealing my secrets is testamount to that. Hai~ Seriously, I am very disappointed. No doubt I am a very liberal person and willing to share many things, there are still stuff that I wanna be discrete about for certain reasons. When a person like me ask you to keep a secret, that means it really can't be told to anyone.

Well... What's done cannot be undone. I won't bear any grudges against him. I treat HH like a younger bro of mine and that's not gonna change just bcoz of this episode. I just gotta learn to be more careful in the future. Anyway, I've known what kinda person he is from the beginning so it was really my fault for having disclosed it to him in the first place. I guess my sadness that day drove me to do something so uncharacteristic. Pls dun get me wrong here. I am not saying HH is not a trustworthy person. The thing is he has been living a very sheltered life up to now. More often than not, he doesn't realise the magnitude of how harsh reality can be. So he probably thought my secret wasn't really that big a deal and let the cat out of the bag in order to entertain the rest of the 09 clique.

From my perspective, there are actually pros and cons to HH's personality. The con is pretty much mentioned above. Being a rather simple person, he isn't really endowed with sensitivity or tactfulness. He doesn't know how to weigh the consequences of his actions. On the other hand, living in his sheltered world peppered with family bliss, he is shielded from the cruel world that we live in. As far as I am concerned, I wish he can live this kinda life that I am envious of for as long as possible.

Human beings tend to change under harsh conditions, sometimes for the better and other times for the worse. Better being stronger willed, more versatile, more tolerant; and worse being more selfish, more scheming, more inhumane in extreme cases. This brings me to why I am so close with HH. Among all my poly frenz, I feel he is the least tainted by the outside world which makes me feel very at ease with him. If you ask me, I can tell you frankly that some negative traits are beginning to show in some of my poly frenz.

Whatever it is, I have no right to judge any of them and I won't. The same applies to whoever is judging me bcoz of what they have heard or witnessed. The jury is still out until the day I kick the bucket. Only then will I take the stand in front of God, waiting for him to pass the final verdict...