A Picture Paints a Thousand Words...

Gift Exchange With Tummy Gang...


My Bitch & I...


Hey Fara, dun steal my chicken wing...

Fricking hungry from all the walking at zoukout...

Joy, Fara, Evonne, What's her name, Bitch & Me

Oops! I'm semi-naked...

At vivo before the party begins...

Terence, Me, Qin Yuan, Teh

Us again... (Qin Yuan's Bday so he gotta be in both pics)

Ktv wit Mei Qin...

Kelvin, Me & Alvin at Dragonfly... (Ah Xia Kia's Bday)

Admiring Fahmi's bag...

09 Post Gift Exchange Pic...

A more solemn post exchange pic...

As much as I think words can be really powerful, it's always good to have some pics from time to time to liven up my blog. Hence, this post will be different from my usual wordy posts. Hope you enjoyed the pics...

Brief Update...

Looking back, it has been 3 weeks since my last post. I must say the past 3 weeks have been rather eventful. It would probably take me hours to elaborate every details, so let me just present the more meaningful occasions in a nutshell.

1. On the very last day of MST, class 09 had our usual Xmas gift exchange. The only difference this time round is the gift I received. Personally, I would call it a "Jar of Love". From the bottom of my heart, I was touched upon receiving it from Shermeen. It isn't something extravagant but definitely something that takes a lot of thoughts and effort. The candies and chocolates in the jar are like drops of love kept by a friend. Not to mention the lil surprise hidden right in the midst of it...... Thanks again Shermeen for the wonderful gift.

2. Just last wed, we had a long mahjong session at my place. It wasn't so much on the money I won or what could have happened the night before. It was the guys who were present - terence, lulu, alvin, mendi and edward. When was the last time this bunch of us sat down and played mahjong together?!?!?!?! All of us have embarked on another chapter of our lives and we no longer have the luxury to have this sort of gathering. Maybe to most, they would see it as just a normal gambling session. To me, it's far beyond that. It's reminiscent of our "good" old days. It's the fun and laughter that we always have during this kinda occasions that make me cherish them till the day I die. On this old mahjong table of mine, many friendships were forged, many friendships were strengthened, many friendships were rekindled.

3. Lastly, it must be Zoukout with my bi-atch and her gang. Lol!!!! Honestly speaking, I am kinda disappointed with the whole Zoukout experience. Probably due to the fact that I was kinda tired from work and tuition; probably due to the fact that my bi-atch and her gang aren't really party people. Nonetheless, I still enjoyed my bi-atch's company for the night. To a certain extent, I feel we are like Will & Grace. Just that I'm not so gay and you're not so graceful. Hahahah!!!! Whatever it is, dun be so emo k. Look at ur bi-atch! I am no longer that emo like how I used to. I've improved and so should you. Anything can always talk to me k.

As much as I wanna upload some photos, I am too tired to do it. Will try to get some pics up in the next few days before someone starts to complain that my blog is too wordy again k. Before I hit the sack, I wanna wish all my frenz a Merry Xmas and Happy New Year. Very soon, it will be the dawn of a new year and may all your wishes come true. Goodnite and adios...

Powerless...

2 three years long relationships; one has gone down the drain and the other on a very rocky patch. The very 4 persons involved in both are close to me and yet there's nothing much I can do.

Hai~ I really feel powerless. If only I was a cupid, I would be able to inject some love and romance into their waning relationships. Sadly, I am not... All I can do is lend a listening ear and give some advice. I suppose this isn't quite enough to salvage somebody else's relationship.

Coincidentally, both my younger sis and Wendy confided in me regarding their relationships last night. As much as I wanted to do my proj, I simply couldn't leave them in the lurch when they needed my deep listening. My sis was on the verge of tears when she spoke to me about Phoebe. Wendy was far worse. She was inconsolable. She had just broken up with MK. If I had been a lil weaker, I would have cried with them...

In all honesty, my sis and Wendy have a lot in common with regards to their mentality. They are too pessimistic and it was really hard for me to get my point across to them. Even so, I tried as hard as I could to make them see things in a brighter light. I dunno how much they have learnt from listening to me but I hope they can at least feel comforted that someone was there to listen to their sorrows.

Not too long ago, I was just like them. Back then, not a day had gone by without me feeling at least a bit dejected. Somehow, I dun reall know how, I have managed to change for the better. Although I am still some way from being a jovial and optimistic person, I am working hard towards it. Being on this journey alone can be somewhat boring. I want them to join me. I want them to see the bigger picture that I see now.

Not that I really believe in God, but if there really is one or many out there, please try to show these 2 girls some mercy. Guide them to the path that I wanna embark. For this alone, I pray to you...

Deepest Condolences...

Haven't blogged for quite a while ya. Dun feel like getting started on my FEB proj yet so here I am writing typing this entry.

Earlier this week, HH's granny passed away. Hai~ When I learnt bout it, I felt kinda guilty. I promised HH a few weeks back that I would accompany him to the hospital and visit his granny but that didn't materialise. Guilt stricken, I made a point to at least pay my last respects at her wake. Being able to offer a joss stick at the altar and utter a few parting words did offer some sort of reprieve.

I am glad that HH is coping wit it rather well. However, I must comment that he's really noob. He knows nuts bout wakes and funerals. Not saying that I am a pro here, at least I know some of the customs. Like always, I filled him in on the customary practices at a wake.

Noob he may be, HH is actually quite an emotional and sentimental boy. These customs gave me the opportunity to hear HH cry over the phone. He was confused, disappointed and infuriated by how some of his relatives reacted at his granny's wake. He couldn't understand why his christian relatives refused to offer joss sticks or participate in the prayer sessions.

Personally, I have always felt a wake is an event for family and friends to pay their last respects and offer their condolences to the deceased and his/her kins respectively. A wake transcends all boundaries - race, religion and dialect. Some pple are just too rigid and live in their own boxes. They only believe and see whatever is avaible in their boxes. Being one-dimensional isn't really a bad thing. Nonetheless, there are occasions where one needs to use a bit of common sense and think out of the box. Sadly, some pple just lack in this department. How can these pple survive in our dynamic, ever-changing society baffles me to no end...

Since I am on this topic, I might as well comment on something related. Just read Jolene's blog before starting this entry and there was this post of hers on how pple commented on what she wore. It reminded me of an incident that happened a few days back in school. A small grp of girls from my lecture group walked past me in FC6 and commented on my attire. They found it gay. To tell ya the truth, I am not the least bit affected by what they had said coz I hav heard this kinda comments numerous times. I would take gay anyday compared to beng. At the very least, gays are more sophisticated and cultured.

My point is, we live in a very judgemental and stereotypical society. If we get affected by every lil thing pple say, we are gonna live in misery. So Jol, dun bother bout what those imbeciles said k.

Melancholic...

Do you know there are actually 4 types of temperament - sanguine, choleric, melancholic and phlegmatic? I bet you don't. Hahaha!!! Losers......... Nah~ Just kidding. I wouldn't know either if I haven't taken psychology as my gem. Anyway, guess which type do I belong to?

For my friends who know me rather well, I think the answer is kinda a no brainer. Even I guessed it myself before doing any tests. I am indeed a melancholic. It's no wonder my life is struck with a chord of melancholy. Lol!!! Just kidding again. This isn't what make one a melancholic.

Not surprisingly, a melancholic is normally the one with the highest IQ in the family. Not trying to praise myself but I do agree with a rather high level of confidence. To a lesser extent, I do fall under the trait of caring for others more than myself. This brings me to the point I wanna make on this entry.

Time and again, I am confronted by this one particular question. Why and how some pple can be so selfish??? Come on... I, myself, am no messiah of mankind. I don't go ard spreading love to everyone on the streets or whatsoever. I do have my selfish moments but I try to keep that to a minimum. The message I am trying to bring across is very simple. I honestly believe one shouldn't be so self-centered most of the time, if not all the time. At least have the decency and capacity to love and care bout ur family and friends. Dun look at things from a narrow perspective that revolves ard me, myself and I.

Who the hell in the world doesn't wanna grab centre stage! Then again, who are the ones giving the applauds??? Your family, friends and community for crying out loud! Without them, you are worth nothing, not even a piece of crap. Imagine a world with only you. You have everything to yourself. Whatever you do is right. You grow old and wither by yourself. Eventually, you will realise life hasn't been a bed of roses coz you have no one to share it with or even witness it. Tears roll down your eyes while you lie on ur deathbed filled with loneliness.

You can brush my words off as a load of bullshit. You can continue deluding yourself that you still have ur family and a few really good frenz by ur side and no matter how things pan out, those pple will stand by you. Trust me, they can put up with your nonsense for 1 month, 1 year or even 1 decade; however, they would probably reach their threshold at a certain point of time. As a matter of fact, my patience for someone on this context is wearing really thin. You probably just regard me as a poly fren and nothing more. So be it... It will hurt you more than it hurts me if you dun mend your ways. Like I said earlier, your so called best friends would most likely bail out on you in due time if you dun change. What I dun want is for the somewhat threadbare harmony in the 09 clique to be affected.

If you insist on being the imbecile that you are, try your best not to step on my tail. I have given you a reminder so be warned...

Baby's Fart!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hav you ever smelled a dog's fart??? Well... I just did. My chihuahua just farted while lying on my lap. If you haven't known, dogs r pretty much like humans. They snore, they fart and they burp. What exactly took me so long to actually experience it for the first time..........

I am guilty. I admit I am. Guilty for not spending enough time with my dogs. Hai~ Truth be told, I am a lousy owner. They wag their tails everytime I come home; they lick me everytime they have the chance; they wanna play catch with me whenever I sit on the floor watching tv. They are crying out for my attention and I disappoint them every single time.

Honestly speaking, I dunno why sluts are also called bi-atches. They dun even come close to being dogs. In the context of canines, they are really loyal and that is one virtue that sluts totally lack. As far as I am concerned, sluts pale in comparison.

However undeserving they are, they always seem to cause me no end of hell. I am not foolish, I must be blind to even allow not one but two to leave a scar in me. For the past couple of days, I have been feeling a void in my life. Not saying that I have been feeling sad or anything, it just seems that something is missing.

Is it companionship; is it sex; or is it a mixture of the two??? I wish I have an answer to this... I doubt I am gonna find an answer soon though. Whatever it is, I just gotta keep myself as occupied as possible. At the very least, this coming week is gonna be damn hectic for me. I wun even have time to think bout other stuff.

Before I embark on my busy schedule ahead, it's best I upload a pic that I took during one of the lectures. Jolene! You dun hav to thank me for this pic k. Just dun cry too much and stay chirpy will do. I dun like to see my fren's tears.

Stairways to my Sanctuary...

Believe it or not, HH has started his own blog!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my dear lil bro, isn't he just full of surprises...

In a way or another, blogging has become an integral part of our lives. You can diminish its impact on our lives or even beg to differ, but there's no hiding that many pple out there wanna be heard. Things you aren't comfortable articulating, you put it in ur blog and hope someone will chance upon it and give their 2 cents worth.

Why? Why? Why has mankind deteriorate till such an extent?!?!?!? What exactly is the problem - environment, education, friends or family? Well... I suppose no matter how hard you scrutinize it, you can't really get to the root of the problem. Whatever it is, this issue is certainly chronic.

Communication and understanding are breaking down ard me and it's really disconcerting. I simply can't understand why most pple cannot sit down and discuss a problem in a calm and rational way. Instead allowing problems to manifest and blown out of proportions. Sharon and her mom; Kaiwen and her parents; Phoebs and my sis; Dave and Wendy... The list can just go on and on...

If possible, I really wanna act as their bridge of communication. With better communication comes better understanding. Not that I am not trying, it's just not enough for a mere mortal to barge in and be able to make a significant difference. Nonetheless, I will not throw in the towel. Somehow, I feel more joy in helping others than I ever used to. Not only do I wanna be a bridge, I also wanna be a guiding lamp. A lamp to guide the lost in the dark wilderness by sharing my own experiences.

By doing so, I am able to climb the stairways to my sanctuary. A place I can be at ease with myself; a place I can enjoy tranquility and serenity; a place where my hatred can be appeased, my anger can be assuaged, my pain can be soothed, my fears can be allayed, my anxiety can be calmed.

This may come across as too good to be true for some of you. Think of me as whatever you want. You have the right to be sceptical and there's no way I am gonna begrudge you of that. I have been a devil for far too long and I wanna be an angel for a change. I know that as long as I am feeling joy, I won't stop. So for those who have faith in me, do confide in me as and when you like. I may not be ard all the time but I will try my best to be as available as possible.

Honestly speaking, I feel very comforted to learn bout HH's new blog. I believe he has come to a crossroad in his life which instigated him to start blogging. In all honesty, I have no idea how much i would be able to help him. At the very least, I get to know what's going on in his heart and mind.

Having said so, it saddens me a great deal when I know nuts bout my own twin bro. Of all the pple I wish to help, he must be right up there on top of the list. I know he's suffering and that's in no small part due to a particular "Miao". Just imagine a masculine man washing his gf's undies with his hands in the middle of the night when she's sleeping soundly in the comfort of their small single bed. She could have washed it herself when she came back from work. Nope, she didn't. She played PS2 all night long while waiting for her man to bring food home for her and put her to bed. The man's pride and ego were thrown out the window for the name of love.

While watching this, I couldn't help but reminisced. I had been through this, I thought to myself. What more do us, brothers, need to do to earn the love we deserve???? Or are the girls just undeserving for us???? It beats me to no end. Whatever it is, my ordeal is over and I can only wish the same for my twin bro. May ur faith lead you to see things like how I see it now...

Where is my facade???

Did I lose my facade with the liberation of my soul....

In more ways than one, I feel I've grown stronger. Maybe not quite physically, but definitely mentally and emotionally. This is probably why I no longer need a mask where I hide all my emotions.

Still, it is always a risk to bare ur all in this god forsaken world. HH revealing my secrets is testamount to that. Hai~ Seriously, I am very disappointed. No doubt I am a very liberal person and willing to share many things, there are still stuff that I wanna be discrete about for certain reasons. When a person like me ask you to keep a secret, that means it really can't be told to anyone.

Well... What's done cannot be undone. I won't bear any grudges against him. I treat HH like a younger bro of mine and that's not gonna change just bcoz of this episode. I just gotta learn to be more careful in the future. Anyway, I've known what kinda person he is from the beginning so it was really my fault for having disclosed it to him in the first place. I guess my sadness that day drove me to do something so uncharacteristic. Pls dun get me wrong here. I am not saying HH is not a trustworthy person. The thing is he has been living a very sheltered life up to now. More often than not, he doesn't realise the magnitude of how harsh reality can be. So he probably thought my secret wasn't really that big a deal and let the cat out of the bag in order to entertain the rest of the 09 clique.

From my perspective, there are actually pros and cons to HH's personality. The con is pretty much mentioned above. Being a rather simple person, he isn't really endowed with sensitivity or tactfulness. He doesn't know how to weigh the consequences of his actions. On the other hand, living in his sheltered world peppered with family bliss, he is shielded from the cruel world that we live in. As far as I am concerned, I wish he can live this kinda life that I am envious of for as long as possible.

Human beings tend to change under harsh conditions, sometimes for the better and other times for the worse. Better being stronger willed, more versatile, more tolerant; and worse being more selfish, more scheming, more inhumane in extreme cases. This brings me to why I am so close with HH. Among all my poly frenz, I feel he is the least tainted by the outside world which makes me feel very at ease with him. If you ask me, I can tell you frankly that some negative traits are beginning to show in some of my poly frenz.

Whatever it is, I have no right to judge any of them and I won't. The same applies to whoever is judging me bcoz of what they have heard or witnessed. The jury is still out until the day I kick the bucket. Only then will I take the stand in front of God, waiting for him to pass the final verdict...

Liberation At Long Last...

With regards to Reena's comment on the previous entry, I am indeed merely mortal. Nothing more than a human, which is why I am susceptible to the perils of mankind like betrayal, cruelty, selfishness and the list goes on....

Having said so, I have no desire to discard my humanity as I feel more complete as a person. Here is a quote from a Morrie, "Learn to love or perish." It sounds rather harsh but it does make a hell lot of sense. However, if you interpret it the wrong way, the consequences could be dire. To love doesn't mean channelling all ur affection towards one single person, it's more like loving your community, your family and your friends. And this is exactly what I am gonna do.

Let me now congratulate Mei for her unerring capacity to prove my instincts right every single time. Bravo!!! You being attached to a 24 year-old malay guy so soon after our breakup further reiterated all that I had said about you. Frankly speaking, I am not really angry with you. Why should I?!?! We have already broken up so you have all the luxury and liberty to be with whoever you desire. The thing is, I am mad with myself for loving you so much in the past and neglecting others that are more worthy. You really dun deserve even one single tiny bit of it.

Apart from the congratulations, I also need to thank you for being the catalyst of my change. Gone are the days when I devoted myself to one single girl. Avan doesn't belong to just one person. I belong to my family and friends. Instead of presenting my entire heart to one individual, isn't it better to scatter it and spread the love around. It's less risky and more pple stand to benefit. I am not trying to be a saint here. All I want is to grace as many lives as possible, especially those close to me.

Mei is dead and with her death, I've found my new perspective of life. The mark of a man is not how much money he has earned; how much girls he has laid or even how many children he has. It's about how many hearts he has touched coz love is something that cannot be forgotten. When my time is up, I hope I don't have to look back in anger or regret. I wanna see the smiles I have put on pple's faces...

A Teardrop of Sorrow...

I cannot recall the last time I had tears rolling down from my eyes. It must have been a while...

Unfortunately, the overwhelming sadness that I felt several hours back, triggered some mechanism in my body and managed to squeezed out whatever that is left from my tear duct. Not that I had cried a river, it was just this one drop that rolled down my cheek which spoke volumes.

If you think I cried bcoz of her, that goes to show how much you know me as a fren or as a person. Ever since Huishan, I have never allowed myself to cry more than twice for a girl. Come to think of it, only 2 girls have achieved that feat and I would be glad it stays that way.

So what exactly happened that made me shed a tear??? Well... The 2 persons I value most in my life are my mom and elder sis. I think many of you will be surprise at such a revelation coz I dun normally talk about them or express such feelings openly. The bottomline is, I simply hate to see them being hurt. I guess it's pretty obvious now that one of them was the cause of me tearing.

Before I left for Reena's house, my elder sis and younger sis got into a very heated argument. It was so sudden that caught me totally by surprise. I mean, both of them are kinda close and arguing over a trivial matter is absolutely absurd and uncalled for. The war of words took both of them to the verge of tears and having not witnessed how it started, I was in no position to remedy the situation. Considering my elder sis's condition and my younger sis's temperament, I stood watching haplessly fearing for the worst repercussions.

It was as though both of them were throwing knifes and daggers at each other and I was caught right in between, feeling the blades cut through my flesh. Tears took the place of blood and started welling up in my eyes. Somehow, I managed to fight it back and dragged my nephew out of the house to prevent further damage.

Eventually, there was a crack in the floodgates and a fateful drop of tear rolled down my cheek when I was in the cab. I was really disappointed that my younger sis could say sorry umpteen times to her ex-gf but not even once to my elder sis. I read an article ages back discussing how humans never or seldom say thank you or sorry to family members. Back then, I already knew the article was spot on since I am guilty myself. What happened between my sisters further reiterated the point. We are all too self absorbed in our own pursuits till the extent of taking our family members for granted. Although I haven't improved a whole lot, I am certainly trying to appreciate my family members more.

I know my family will never go back to the way it was during my younger days but in the last couple of years, the situation has improved rather significantly. I want it to continue improving and an argument like this is definitely a step back. I am praying hard that there will not be any manifestations...

Psychology...

"Psycho!!!!!!!!!!!" Who's calling me???

Here's a lil trivia for those who haven't known, my nickname is "Psycho". Seriously, it's not a term that most pple like to be associated with. I'm sure you dun like pple calling you that rite. Oh well, I have being carrying this tag for more than 10 years now. It was given to me by a primary school fren and all these years, I haven't been able to shake it off.

If you ask me, I can't quite remember why my primary school fren gave me this nickname. On hindsight, it's quite an appropriate nickname. I like to see myself as being different to my peers and I think most would agree with me. I am kinda deviant, eccentric and bold in many aspects.

Isn't it fitting for a psycho to study psychology... Maybe it's not quite a coincidence that I didn't get personal financial planning for my GEMS. Whatever it is, it doesn't really matter since I have always been interested in neuro science. Human's thinking, behaviour and emotions have always been a captivation. Maybe some of you may be shocked to hear this, I ever aspired to be a psychiatrist. Lol!!!!!

Furthermore, there's also a chance of me getting to know myself more. The only pity is that I have to take this GEM alone. I would definitely do with some company but I am not that sort to cry when there is none. At the very least, I can walk hand in hand with PY to T16 and T17 every fri. Hahaha!!!! Just kidding la, dun take it to heart k, PY.

To my dear Fmus1,

"In the words of a broken heart, it's just emotions taking me over, caught up in a sorrow, lost in the song...." Emotions - by Bee Gees

Fmus1, we are nothing but mere mortals. More often than not, we allow emotions to govern us. That's why you cried even when you promised you would never cry for a man again. It's ok to cry so dun get pissed with urself for breaking the promise k. Anyway, Timbre has no rights to make you cry. He fricking hell shouldn't even be in the position to judge you like dat. If I could have my way, I would throw the timbre pizza straight at him. That's the only thing he deserves... Dun brood over it too much k. You know I am always there for you. Anything just give me a call k. Lots of love, your Fmus2...

What a FIND!!!

Pretty soon, my school vacation will be coming to an end. Honestly speaking, I am kinda looking forward to it. Call me crazy or whatever have you... I find this rather startling as well. In all the years I have been schooling, I believe this is the first time I want my vacation to end asap. I believe the mundane routine of tuitions after tuitions is taking its toll on me. Aarrgghh!!!!! How I envy HH!?!?!?

Oh well, this vacation isn't all dull and boring. There were a few odd occasions that I really enjoyed myself. SQ's bday chalet and Zouk party, Cheryl's farewell dinner, Sentosa outing with 09 clique, admiring Luctricia and Pro-evolution soccer at Lucas' place, and the most recent Zouk outing with my NS buddies indeed lifted some gloom from all the tuitions. Yes, I know giving tuitions is good money and I count myself lucky to be smart enough to do it. However, it is very mentally and emotionally draining. Hai~ Watching Kaiwen's waning interest in her studies worries me a hell lot. Her family has been nothing but nice to me and furthermore, I see her more like a younger sister to me than my student. Hopefully I can talk some sense into her and try to salvage the situation.

Just when you think the chips are down, there's always a possibility that something uplifting or inspiring would come along. This is exactly what had happened to me. Had been digging up some of my forgotten stuff of late and I stumbled upon my "Numero 2" diary and "Tuesdays with Morrie" storybook. Both given to me by my Fmus1. If I could, I wouldn't but somehow I was compelled to open up the diary and read my previous entries. Going through those entries put me on a time warp, all the way back to a couple of years ago. Not only did the diary serve as a painful memento of my less than glamorous past, it also reminded me that my command of English has worsened. Contrary to my nature, I was more affected by the latter than the former. This is probably a sign of how much I have changed in the past 2 years. By no chance am I gonna let myself slump. In light of this, I told myself back then that I have to start reading again.

Start, I certainly did. Have been reading for the past few days during my journeys to the various tuition venues. Well... No prizes for guessing which is the first book. Fmus1 wrote some sort of a disclaimer on the back of the cover stating that it is a life-changing book, read with caution. To a certain degree, I am beginning to get what she meant. 'Tuesdays with Morrie" isn't quite changing my life yet but it has absolutely given me a new perspective on certain aspects of life. On a spiritual level, this book might just turn out to be a gem.

Whether I have unearthed a gem from my closet remains to be seen. Nevertheless, I have definitely found something of materialistic gratification last Sat at Zouk. A 160GB Ipod, at a time I need it most!!!!! I am not someone you might call musically inclined or musician. Still, I need my fair share of music to keep myself entertained and hearing pleasure has been at a premium ever since that absurd demand from a particular girl. The only downside is that I have to buy the Ipod USB cable and charger. Heck! It is still very worth it whatever way I look at it. Very soon I will be able to let the music heal my soul again...

Around the World in 60 Years...

Was reading someone's blog just now and saw some pics of her recent Hong Kong trip. I couldn't help but reminisced about my previous Hong Kong and taiwan trips. Hai~ It has been so long since I travelled overseas.

The more I think about the fun I had when I was in Taiwan with the Tummy Gang, the more desire I have to go on a holiday with my frenz again. It doesn't really matter if it's the GMH clique, Tummy Gang or poly clique. I JUST WANNA GO OVERSEAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Singapore is way too small and I can say I am someone rather adventurous. I dun wanna be confined in such a puny island for the rest of my life. Widening my horizon is what I wanna do and I wish I can visit several countries during my lifetime. Given my less than healthy lifestyle, I set my lifespan at 60 years old. That means I have about 36 years to go to fulfill this dream.

So which are the countries I wanna visit??? Erm... Let me think... I definitely wanna visit Taipei and Hong Kong a second time. Taipei was real fun the other time round so I really crave for that experience again. As for HK, it didn't quite turn out to be what I expected the last time I went there but I know it should be more enjoyable if the company is right. So I am willing to give it another try. Since these 2 countries are relatively cheaper compared to the rest of the countries I wanna go, I hope I can accomplish this before going Uni or started working.

Being a Chinese, I believe it's a must to go China as well. China is pretty big and I am not really very enthusiastic bout visiting the rural areas. My most likely destination in China should be Beijing and Shanghai. If possible, I wanna cover the whole of the Great Wall of China. Lol!!!! This will be some remarkable feat. Let's pray I would still have the legs to do it.

On the topic of Asia, I can't possibly give Japan and South Korea a miss. For Japan, Tokyo and Hokkaido certainly!!! South Korea wise, I think I need to consult Ah Du. I know nuts bout the country except its capital is Seoul. Nonetheless, the korean language itself is worth me checking out the country. Still on Asia, even though I dun quite like Thailand, not going to Bangkok is still rather weird. If I am not mistaken, it was voted the favourite tourists' city last year or early this year so I guess it should have some drawpoints. This should be about it for Asia coz the rest of the countries aren't as developed. Fmus1 can stand living in shabby conditions but I can't. Just imagine how much I would panic and run about in the middle of the night if a cockroach or whatsoever insects come flying or crawling close to me. EEekkss_____

Moving to another continent, Eygpt is the only African country that I have some interest in. Don't you just find the pyramids fascinating.... I wanna witness it at close proximity and be in awe with one of the greatest wonders on the face of earth.

Moving again to Europe, there are quite a few countries that I will absolutely regret not visiting. First up will be England. Being an avid Man Utd supporter, it's a no brainer that I have to go Manchester one day, by hook or by crook. Die die also must go.... The other city in England would be London, the capital. Just gotta go there for the sake of it or maybe bcoz of the London Bridge. Hahaha!!! Across the channel, France is also a very beautiful country. "Bonjour!" I wanna wake up in Paris and have croissant for breakfast...

Not far away, there is Italy. When you talk about Italy, Rome and Milan come up to your mind. At least for me, that is what it is. Rome for its Vatican and the gladiator arena; Milan for its luxury brands. How can we even forget about Mendi's favourite Spain! Erm... Dun really know a lot bout Spain except for Barcelona and Madrid so these will be the 2 cities I wanna visit. Lastly for Europe, it will be Holland, Amsterdam. A city full of vices - prostitution, gambling, drugs and whatever have you. I am so gonna get my hands on the marijuana brownie. Thinking of it makes me drool~

The last country on my wishlist is America. To a certain degree, I have being influenced by its culture and naturally so I have intentions of paying it a visit. America is also kinda big ya. No chance I am visiting all the states and cities. At the moment, I can only think of Las Vegas, LA, California, Miami and New York.

Wow!!! This is certainly a long and expensive list of countries. Well... I have an estimated 36 years to make it happen. The only stumbling block is whether I can live that long. Only god knows...

Blog Surfing...

Not quite sure if there is such a term, but since there is channel surfing - switching from channel to channel on the TV - I guess it should be kinda appropriate to use blog surfing if I jump from blog to blog. When you are wide awake in the middle of the night with nothing better to do, it's not quite an anomaly to resort in such an act.

Just a while back, I visited Huilan's, Shermeen's, Yingxian's, Nana's, Shiqi's, Panying's and Sherilyn's blogs. Why this assortment of characters, you may ask? Well... I must say it's pretty random when you are bored. Actually, I have always been following Shiqi's and Panying's. It's the others that may be baffling to some people I presume.

Before anyone come asking "Avan, you like her, her, her and her ah?", I think it's best I clarify myself. While checking out SQ's blog, I saw Huilan and Yingxian on her links and I thought these 2 names sound familiar. So out of curiosity, I just clicked on their names lor. One is Shiping's gf and the other is my former DBA12 classmate. It's no wonder I find their names so familiar la... As for Nana, I have always found her kinda exotic so it's only natural that I follow her blog from time to time rite. Shermeen ah... Erm... No particular reason really. Maybe I haven't gotten the chance to really talk to her lately so just wanna find out how she's doing. In truth, I think I found out more bout her from her blog than the whole of our 09 days. Isn't it a shame! Anyway, I dun think it's ever too late to know a person rite. Lastly, it's Sherilyn. I am not afraid to admit that I find her rather talented. It's more of admiration than infatuation, purely platonic. I won't tolerate any gossips or teasings on this context k. LOL!!!! We all know she's very sporty. If I'm not mistaken, she plays table tennis and Muay Thai!!! Table tennis I can understand but Mauy Thai for a girl....... That's way insane!!! I really have to give it to her for this. Surprise surprise!!! Having praised her so much, the thing bout her that impresses me the most is her command of English. So yup, I am quite interested in reading blogs from those with good command of English.

I dunno why pple keep saying my English is good. Frankly speaking, I feel my command of English is pretty mediocre. When compared to SHerilyn, I pale in comparison. And not only her, I have so many friends that are way better than me. According to my own standards, I still regard myself as somewhat of a cheeeena pork. Dun get me wrong here. I dun discriminate against chinese speaking pple k. I just wanna be more bilingual if not multilingual.

Pple say "pictures paint a thousand words" which I totally agree. Judging by the number of pictures uploaded onto blogs nowadays, I am confident to say many share the same sentiments. In spite of that, pictures are still something complementary. I firmly believe words are still the primary channel of delivering messages. This probably explains the chronic lack of pictures in my blog. Hahahaha!!!!!!!!!!

To me, language is a beautiful thing just like soccer. If you are very proficient in a particular language, you can really make wonders with words. As of now, I have to say I am still very far from that level of articulation. Hai~ In fact, I am kinda retrograding. To think I am gonna give a china girl tuition on English. Dun have the slightest bit of idea how it's gonna work out. Let's just hope she can improve my Chinese and I can return the favour in the opposite direction...

Luctricia...

First and foremost, I hope I have gotten the name right, if not Lucas is so gonna kill me. Well... Luctricia is quite a unique name and I have always had a penchant for unique names. I think it's pretty apparent since my name, Avan, is also pretty unique. Lol!!!!! Dun anyone even dare beg to differ... So who exactly is Luctricia???? Why not you make a guess!

Come on... Cut me some slack. I know most of you must be thinking it's my new fling or a new girl that I like. Hai~ Stereotypers... Seriously, I believe I deserve more credit than most of you are giving me. Whatever it is, you think I really care... My close frenz know what kinda person I am and they dun despise me so there really isn't any reason I should change rite. At the very least, Lucas will understand. Hahaha!!!

Let's get straight to the point. I must admit Luctricia is a girl. (Duh~ As if pple can't tell from the name.) Get that thought outta ur head coz there're definitely imbeciles out there who really can't tell so this is just a benefit to them. To make myself clear, she's not my fling and never will be. However, there's a very high chance that I will like her. If time permits, I might even be seeing her more frequently. She is cute and I can have the peace of mind that she wun judge me, betray me, scold me, slap me, or even argue with me. She just leaves all other girls trailing in her wake.

If only she is my angel... Hai~ Too bad, she's not mine. Lucas has the luxury to see her everyday. Bro, you really gotta work harder to cherish her ya. Maybe if possible, I can be her godfather or something. Lol!!!! Me being a godfather, really hard to imagine. The bottomline is I love kids, so I suppose I can be a good one. I think I am getting a lil carried away. Lol!!! Nah~ Me being a good godfather or not is irrelevant, it is imperative that Lucas be a good father. Parenting is definitely no easy job. I am quietly confident that Lucas will be one so you have all my well wishes and blessings for your newborn baby, Luctricia...

PS: The mambo entry is kinda long ya. I promise to finish it within this couple of days k.

Mambo Jambo...

Whenever you hear "Mambo Jambo", you can't help but think of Zouk. I suppose this is a natural phenomenon since "Mambo Jambo" at Zouk has been ard for ages and really did put us on the world clubbing scene. On a personal note, Zouk is definitely my favourite club. It's such a pity that I haven't been clubbing often lately, let alone go Zouk. However, I did pay Zouk a visit last wed for the 2nd instalment of SQ's bday.

Before I commence on that night's events, it's a gentle reminder that the remaining entry contains disgusting contents so pusillanimous readers should refrain from going any further. You have been warned! I shall not be held liable for any mental or physical disturbance. Lol!!!!

Let us now begin...

The cast for that night were Shiqi, Jolene, Hai Hong, Singkiat, Kelvin, Ernest and me. Since it was meant to be Shiqi's post bday celebration, she was undoubtedly given the lead actress role and hell! did she not perform well. Hahaha!!!!!!!!! Having said so, Hai Hong stole her limelight totally. If this was a comedy, he would have won best comedian hands down. Even if he didn't, he had already won an award in my heart for his immaculate depiction of the role he was given. Kudos to you, Hai Hong...

The night started out like this... SQ, SK, HH and I met up earlier at Orchard Mrt to go out for dinner. In order to spend more at Zouk, we decided to have something nice and yet reasonably priced so I brought them to Lucky Plaza. For those who have no idea where Lucky Plaza is, it is located just opposite Takashimaya and Filippinos flood the place on Sundays. We went to this Rabbit Restaurant (not sure if I got the name right, it's irrelavant anyway) for some chinese delicacies. All of us ordered baby abalone with rice except for SQ. She went for "Buddha Jump Over the Wall" instead. Although I dunno if that was foresight or just plain luck on her part, the one thing I do know is that she made the right choice and she was really glad and relieved with the smart choice. Well... It is not so much of the baby abalone with rice being crappy. In fact, the the baby kailan more than complement the abalone and top with black oyster sauce, it just leaves your tastebuds craving for more. Truth be told, all of us really enjoyed our dinner. The reason why I am bringing this part up is due to the its significance in the latter stages.

Knowing how crowded Zouk can be on Wed nights, we hurriedly met up with the rest and headed down to Zouk. I can still remember vividly the time we reached Zouk, it was 945pm. Without further delay, we entered by Phuture entrance so that we could check out the whole Zouk, barring Velvet Underground. I was the only one whom have been there before hence, I did my part and showed them ard. After making our rounds, I suggested we hung out at Phuture first before settling at the main arena where "Mambo Jambo" is. Fortunately, we were able to find a space just beside the deejay area with a wooden fixture to place our drinks. Thinking back, it was quite a mistake for the guys to ask for drinks recommendation. I told them it's 1 for 1 and if they really wanna drink, they should try Zouk's Long Island Tea. It is definitely one of the most potent drink you can find in Zouk. They trusted my experience and heeded my advice. What they didn't know is that they had started their own demise or perhaps HH's... Lol!!!!

With their 2 jugs of Long Island Tea and my Lychee Martini, we went back to our area and started playing 5-10. From our game of 5-10, I have come to a realization - HH is damn fricking noob. He was standing to my left initially and kept losing till he couldn't take it and swapped positions with SK. He thought that would helped but let me tell you, when you are a noob, there's no escaping... His losing streak didn't seem to cease and with that, his drinking punishment continued. So much so that he finished almost one whole jug by himself at the end of the game.

It would take a no-brainer to guess the next outcome. If I could lie outside Copthorne barely conscious after downing one jug of Long Island Tea, there was no chance for HH to fare any better. I shall now unravel HH's journey of intoxication... Within a short span of time after our 5-10 game, HH got into his groove and started dancing to the hip-hop beat. Being a dance enthusiast myself, I joined HH on the dance floor as the crowd was warming up with the happy hours drawing to a close. It wasn't too long before HH drew my attention to his dancing. It was certainly unorthodox and unique. Lol!!!!! "HH should really audition for So You Think You Can Dance!" I thought to myself. Let's be frank here. There's no hell of a chance HH is gonna win the competition. However, he will definitely get his 10 seconds of fame. "So You Think You Can Dance" always show snippets of hilarious dancers during their auditions episodes and in my honest opinion, no one is gonna begrudge HH the chance of being one of those featured dancers. If you think I am exaggerating, you really have no fricking idea how funny it was. Even the rest of the casts were drawn to HH like bees to honey. All of us were laughing our heads off. Try to imagine HH dancing with his eyes almost closing in a combination of hip-hop, retro, erotica and contemporary and you will get the slightest bit of idea. This was HH's first stage of intoxication - getting high and losing control of his limps, just dancing vigorously to the music and being oblivious to his surroundings.

Right up to this point, all of us were having quite a lot of fun just watching HH. But clubbing isn't just about watching drunkards do their stuff so we did a bit of our own dancing and teasing. For my trouble, I got slapped real hard on the face by HH when I was teasing and dancing right in front of him. HH hor... Brother brother can slap me so hard is it! Nvm... Considering you were fricking high, I won't hold it against you. At the very least, I wasn't the only one with mishap. Shiqi got her beloved white hairband broken into two.... The only difference being HH wasn't the antagonist. So who among the cast had such a grudge against SQ to go till the extent of breaking her beloved hairband?

Suspect 1, Kelvin, was undoubted the one with the clearest motive. To a certain degree, he was victimized by the clique due to the sour breakup. Compounding to his misery, he still had to give SQ a bday present. If you think logically, the 2 reasons mentioned could well instigate his malicious attack on SQ's hairband.

Suspect 2, Sing Kiat, was the least active among the cast that night. He was too busy smsing. Furthermore, SQ is his so called "sister". But, if you factor in his relationship with Audrey, his suspicion couldn't be discounted given the bad blood between SQ and the two 02 girls.

Suspect 3, Hai Hong, was way into his own world. Struggling to even stand properly and yet still somehow managed to dance the way he did. On the surface, he seemed too tipsy to have any hidden agenda on SQ's hairband. On the contrary, the intoxication might just be a charade - something HH is fricking good at. We all know how SQ likes to hurl verbal abuses at HH. It could be HH had reached his threshold and masterminded everything the moment we stepped into Zouk.

Suspect 4, me, was too engrossed watching the dance battle on the dancefloor. Moreover, I had to look after my lil bro, HH, in fear that he might offend others by hitting them with his swinging arms unknowingly. As and when I could, I would grooved to the music. Hence, there really wasn't any chance of me getting close to SQ's hairband. Without an alibi, I couldn't prove my innocence. And not forgetting to mention I was also the organizer of the Zouk outing. It could have been a ploy for me to have an opportunity to get back at SQ and her defenceless hairband was the obvious target.

Suspect 5, Ernest, was busy teasing HH most of the time. As and when convenient, he would dance or hug Jolene so he was pretty occupied just like me. Among us, he is the one least close to SQ since he is not from 09. Compared to us, the duration he has known SQ is relatively short so it's hard for him to have any animosity towards her. On the other hand, we cannot forget how much time he spent talking to SQ's family at the chalet. To the naked eye, it might be nothing more than socializing since Ernest is also a Malaysian. Nevertheless, there is also a possibility that Ernest wants to get into SQ's good books given her family background. By breaking SQ's hairband without her knowledge, SQ would most likely be upset and then Ernest could lend her his shoulders and comfort her. In this way, SQ would be grateful if not smitten.

Suspect 6, Jolene, was the one spending the most time with SQ. They were literally inseparable except for the few odd moments when Jolene was dancing or being hugged by Ernest. Inevitably, Jolene had the most opportunities to do damage to SQ's hairband. Judging by how close they are, it is hard to imagine Jolene having such a malicious intent. In spite of that, Jolene could be feeling the heat of peer pressure. SQ was extremely hardworking in the past semester and there's a likelihood that Jolene was green eyed about it.

As you can see, each and everyone of the cast had their own motives. Who was the culprit? This question will be answered in the next post of this entry. Stay tuned...

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Sorry for the wait but part 2 is here at long last...

Before I unravel the mystery, I need all 09 pple to think bout how you find Jolene. To me, she looks kinda frail probably bcoz of her low blood count. She's also very mild-tempered and courteous. Can you imagine there's still someone saying "da jia ci" in this modern era! From what I know, she's also pretty well off. Oh ya, her body proportion is like 4-6 or maybe even 3-7. Lol!!! Her legs seem a tad too long for her body. And just recently, I have found another side of her. She's pretty caring towards her friends.

All in all, Jolene doesn't come across as a malicious person to me. However, you can never judge a book by its cover. For reasons not known to anyone, she broke SQ's hairband with her secret weapon, her super duper ultimate impregnable shiny braces. If not for the hairband, SQ's head could have been the one broken into 2. Well... The most amazing thing was that Jolene really concealed her intentions and brushed it off as accidental. To think that SQ actually believed her and carried on dancing.

What an amazing 2 days!!!!!!!!!

Finally, it's over... 2 days of fun, laughter, tears, booze and loads of puking... Phew~ Just so glad that almost everyone had a great time and my liver can officially go on a break from alcohol.

The past 2 days had really been a blast. In all honesty, I really gotta thank my poly mates for the experience. Judging by how things went, it's safe to say the chalet had been quite a success. Well, well... You just have to look at who was the organizing chairman. Lol!!!!!!!!! Bo la... Just kidding. It was more a collective effort from everyone, even Hai Hong. I have been to countless chalets but this one was a lil different. It had everything barring sex and gambling. Although it was only for 1 night, I witnessed so many different emotions and relationships. The organizing committee coming up with so many bday surprises for shiqi and actually put in so much effort to make them happen; this is what I call friendship. Shiqi's family taking time off to travel all the way down to the chalet and be part of the bday surprises; this would be kinship. Me helping HH wiped his mouth with my bare hand after he finished puking; this is nothing but brotherhood.

As for emotions, nothing beats joy and the chalet was filled with that. From the decibels of our laughter, it is really not hard to imagine how much we were enjoying ourselves. It certainly took a while to warm up at the beginning but when the alcohol came in, it reached dizzy heights. Most of us were laughing hysterically during the games and rightly so with HH being as comical as he was. I have absolutely no room for imagination how dull the chalet would be if HH wasn't around. I believe no one present at the chalet would challenge me on this. If any of you even think of diminishing HH's importance to our fun and laughter, I suggest you think again. Just recall how he illustrated "yuan yang" during the charade game. It was simply hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Looking back now, was he actually thinking of having sex or the bloody lovebirds??? I am not being sadistic but even HH puking was also so funny. Maybe he's HH, that's why...

Like the saying goes, all good things got to come to an end. We were making so much noise that our neighbours complained. Things started to cool down after we were warned by the management. I supposed the warning came at bout the right time since some of us were already having problems standing up. Nope... Dun you dare even go there. I wasn't referring to the guys ok. It was more like Ruth and Esther cozying up on the bed, barely able to move their butts. After which, those still sober or thought they were sober, made their way down to the beach for a somewhat solemn heart to heart chat. Without a shadow of doubt, I was one of those. Even before we could step out of Downtown East, HH started puking!! Apparently, he was no where near sober but insisted on joining us to the beach coz he's such a gossip monger if you know what I mean.

After HH was done puking, we made our way down to the beach and sat ard a bbq pit for our deep conversation. Oh ya... Before I start on the conversation, I need to clarify on something. I wasn't trying to attract attention or whatsoever when I stripped to my boxers at the beach. Due to the alcohol content in my blood, the devil inside me was awaking inside me. He was instigating me to do something crazy. Frankly speaking, I have been able to keep this side of me in check over the last couple of years but the control is normally weakened when I feel very down or tipsy. I was actually contemplating jumping into the sea to cool myself down. Like I mentioned earlier, a couple of years back, I would have done it without any reservation. Thankfully, I came to my senses after much deliberation. God bless me for not doing it...

Okok, now back to our deep conversation. That HH was so eager to hear but before Ben could start on why he broke up wit Amanda, he felt asleep from the exhaustion of puking. Well... HH was lucky coz I was listening attentively to Ben throughout the whole conversation. Ben indeed had many things to say. He just kept going and going for a good whole 3 hours at least or so I thought. Since Ernest isn't from 09, he got bored and tired mid-way through and took a short puking break by the sea. Believe me, his puking was loud, as loud as he described it to be. Lol!!!!! Ben just went from Amanda to his family issues and lastly to friends. Watching and listening to him speak was reminiscent of me speaking a few years back. There were so many similarities. The resemblance is probably one of the reasons why I dislike Ben. Anyway, the animosity towards him seems to have dissipated somewhat after that conversation. So after Ben finished his revelation, it was my turn to give me 2 cents worth.

Seeing how restless HH and Ernest were, I decided to cut my long story short, real short. I spoke bout my past relationships, family and my opinions of PY, Ben, Kel and SK. Honestly speaking, I had no idea how much the rest wanted to hear but thought it would be good to share my experiences and perspectives since I am older. When I got to the topic of Kel, SQ started crying again. It was a can of worms I had to open so she can learn from the experience. Omg!!! This entry is getting way too long. I shall end it soon. Fastfoward mode___________ After me, PY took the stand and shared her views and stuff. Knowing PY, she didn't really talk much and when it all ended, it was already 8 plus in the morning. The few hours at the beach was in stark contrast to the time we spent in the chalet. I could sense sorrow, haplessness and remorse. Even so, it was still a form of enjoyment listening to your frenz confide.

All in all, it was certainly a memorable chalet and I am keeping my fingers crossed that more will follow in the future...

Bacardi 151...

If you haven't tried it before, I suggest you don't. It's probably one of the strongest liquor you can find in Singapore or even the rest of the world. It's 77% alcohol for crying out loud!!! Definitely not one for the faint-hearted...

Given my distaste of alcohol, there's no reason why I should be pouring 3 shooters of this poison down my gullet. Well... Certain occasions call for the need of alcohol and last night was one of it. Firstly, my beloved Man Utd lost 2-1 to the team I hate most, Liverpool. Secondly, it was a treat from someone who obviously wanted me fricking tipsy. Thirdly, I couldn't have done what I did afterwards without alcohol in my blood stream.

Since it was nothing glamorous, it's best I not be too explicit about it. So those that know about it, pls keep it to yourself. If there was ever an appropriate analogy to describe what I did, I would say downing the 3 shooters of Bacardi 151. It was certainly fast and furious. The initial stage leading up to the penultimate event was money and time consuming. It was somewhat draining mentally and physically considering the stigma attached to it; drawing the similarity of drinking the poison. You question yourself if you should be drinking it knowing full well the likely outcome. Not to mention the taste is simply awful and it burns ur throat a whole lot. However, the kick comes fast. Before you even know it, you can feel the intoxication. This is where I relate to the penultimate event. It came earlier than I expected and ended in a flash. After which, the hangover starts to kick in and you wish you were better off dead. You feel the whole world is spinning and your head is gonna explode anytime, making you regret drinking it in the first place. Oh well... When I had what I wanted, I realised it wasn't that fun after all causing me to think of ways to end it. Remorse started to set in and I just couldn't help but wonder about the consequences that were to follow.

Just keeping my fingers crossed that nothing will happen...

Tanya's bday out, Shiqi's next...

Tanya & Me at Delphi restaurant



Went Delphi restaurant for some spicy and tantalising north indian food just now for dinner with Tanya, Reena & Evonne. It was some kinda simple bday treat for Tanya since it was her bday. The company was good, the food simply delicious. It's a place I highly recommend coz the price is reasonable as well. (Reena, Tanya only sent me this pic so it is the only one I can upload. Dun let ur imagination run wild hor.)

This aside, I am looking forward to Shiqi's bday coz I m like the honorary organizer and treasurer. That incompetent Ivy has been dethroned by me. Lol!!!!!!!! Chalet on the 16th and Zouk on the 17th. I anticipate a busy week ahead. As for now, I have to come up with the itinerary for the chalet which is of utmost importance. Can you imagine how boring the chalet would be if everyone is sian sian.... But me alone won't be able to make it fun. No doubt I can come up wit the games and activities, the rest needs to participate enthusiastically to make things happen. This being said, I really need the co-operation from everyone that is going.


This group of pple better not let me down and be more sporting hor.

Damn Insomnia....

AAArrghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't fucking sleep!!! Every single night when I go to bed and try to sleep, thoughts just come rushing into my head when I close my eyes. What's the fricking problem with me???

If this continues, there's a high chance I'm gonna lose my sanity. Reena was just telling me a few hours back how amazed she is with the way I managed to keep myself sane under all those adversities. Sorry Reena, that may well be in danger if my insomnia persists.

So what actually was I thinking when I tried to get some sleep a while ago... I think Fmus1 will be glad to hear this. I was actually fantasizing how great it would be to have a gf in school, someone who knows my other classmates pretty well. I must be out of my mind to be thinking bout such things. Well... Maybe I really yearn for someone who can influence me on my studies and also have fun with along with my other frenz in school. In all honesty, I already have an idea of who this person is but unfortunately, we don't quite share the same sentiments. So my Fmus1, don't be too happy just yet coz ur Fmus2 isn't quite a heartthrob in school ya. Lol!!!!!!!

Anyway, it's Sep 11 today and it does bear a fair bit of significance to me. Pls dun get me wrong here. I am not such a humanitarian to really bother bout those that were killed during the terrorists' attack on the twin tower. This date just brings back some memories that I wish I rather not hold. Nonetheless, it should still be commemorated coz it marks the birth of one of my buddies, Edward. Bro.... Happy Birthday!!!!!!!! Enjoy ur KL trip with Kaizhen but dun tiao kia k. Hahahaha!!!

A Sudden Dawn of Light...

It certainly came at the wrong timing. I was lying on my spacious bed trying to get a few hours of precious sleep before my tuition but I just couldn't wander off into slumberland. Trains of thoughts just came rushing into my head, keeping me wide awake till 7 in the morning. Aaarrghh!!!!!!!! How I dreaded that... Nonetheless, the wasted sleep was well worth.

Contradicting, I may sound but it is no where near. I like to sleep so it's only natural to complain about my deprived sleeping time. On the other hand, the thoughts that kept me awake might just shape my life now and in the future. So what exactly came into my mind??? You must be asking. Well... It's quite the mundane stuff like how to make more money; how to convince my siblings to invest in my penthouse; how to finance my uni education. In all honesty, I have been thinking about all these for quite a long while now so what distinguishing difference did I derived upon yesterday morning. The answer is .................................................SCHOLARSHIP!!!!

Like what FMUS1 said, I am one hell of a procrastinator. I suppose this stems from the fact that I lack discipline. Since discipline cannot be conjured from within, it has to be instilled extrinsically. Having a scholarship is one fricking good way of doing so. Dun any of you even think that I am delusional or anything of that sort coz I am not, and far from it. No one says that it's gonna be easy to obtain a scholarship. I see it as a viable option that is attainable with a tremendous amount of hard work. If I can secure this option for my uni studies, I am confident to say my future is pretty much mapped out the way I want it to be.

But.... There is alway a but ya know. I need to be able to study in a local uni in the first place. That means my gpa for poly gotta be 3.4 if not 3.5. Erm.... Where can I find the discipline from for this, I wonder??? I will figure something out real soon and I desperate need to. Panying and Shiqi are already working so hard. Very soon, a lot more will follow suit. I cannot be left in their wake. What if, what if even Mendi becomes so god damn studious and hardworking??? Omg!!! Unimaginable... "Mendi is catching up... Mendi is catching up..." This is what I need to remind myself every single day.

Relax & Rejoice...

Phew~ For how long have I been wanting to let out this sigh of relief. The dreaded exams is finally out of the way. Although I still have to give loads of tuitions, I dun have to hit the books for another 6 weeks. Come everyone, do rejoice with me...

To tell ya the truth, this is the first time in the last couple of years that I felt really relaxed. It's as if I'm a free man again. Well... Technically I am since I have already broken up with Mei and hell! ain't I reaping the benefits. Mark my words, this relaxation of my mind is absolutely invaluable!!!

Apart from this, I am enjoying every minute of my own personal space. No more interference or anything of that sort. I can pretty much do anything I want, anywhere I prefer and anytime I desire. With quite a few activities lined up this holiday, the last thing I need is someone breathing down my neck telling me I can't do this or I can't do that. Fricking annoying isn't it!!!

For instance, I doubt I would be able to join my FMUS1 at Butter Factory last fri if I was still attached. What a show I would have missed if that was the case... Thankfully, I was on hand to witness everything and believe me when I say I am real glad. And why shouldn't I! Seeing 2 of my close friends enjoying themselves in different ways. Hahahaha!!! Btw, I am referring to Teh and my FMUS1. Benny is as usual, disappointing. Before I go any further, I must make it clear that I'm not condoning what really happened that night but I am never against having fun so since all parties were willing, then fricking screw all the morals and have a blast.

I am so looking forward to the next session. I mean seeing your friends enjoy themselves is quite a joy to behold. Let's hope the next time round, it will be benny or mendi coz that will truly be a sight to savour for the rest of my life...

ONE OF MY BIGGEST MISTAKE SO FAR!!!

PARDON ME BUT I JUST GOTTA TYPE THIS ENTRY IN BOLD AND CAPS COZ I'M FUMING, REALLY FUMING. THIS NEW BLOG OF MINE ISN'T SUPPOSED TO CONTAIN ANY UNHAPPY ENTRY BUT I'M SO MAD RIGHT NOW THAT I JUST GOTTA RANT IT OUT.

AS IF MEI HASN'T CAUSED ME ENOUGH TORMENT, SHE JUST GOTTA DROPPED ANOTHER BOMBSHELL. HONESTLY SPEAKING, WHAT IS THE FRICKING PROBLEM WITH HER??? I'M BAFFLED, ABSOLUTELY BAFFLED BY HER IMMATURITY. HOW IS IT POSSBILE THAT SOMEONE IN HER THIRTIES CAN CONTRIVE TO BEHAVE IN SUCH A WAY??? SIMPLY PREPOSTEROUS...

LAST NIGHT, SHE MSG ME TO RETURN EVERYTHING THAT SHE HAD BOUGHT FOR ME. THE THOUGHT OF RELINQUISHING THE ITEMS IS ALREADY HARD TO SWALLOW. HER REASONING IS EVEN MORE ABSURB. WHY CAN'T SHE TAKE A BREAK-UP LIKE AN ADULT INSTEAD OF RESORTING TO ALL THESE NAIVE ACTS!!!

TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, AS MUCH AS I LIKE MOST OF THE ITEMS, I HAVE NO QUALMS IN RETURNING THEM TO HER. I JUST WANT THIS DEBACLE TO END ASAP. I'M PISSED WITH MYSELF TO HAVING STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. WAS I BLIND BACK THEN TO SEE ANY GOOD IN HER??? OH GOODNESS ME, IF THERE WAS A TIME MACHINE, I WOULD TAKE IT IN A HEARTBEAT AND UNDO ALL THESE CRAP. THE BOTTOMLINE IS THIS HAS TO GO DOWN AS ONE OF MY BIGGEST MISTAKE SO FAR IN LIFE.

ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I REALLY DUN WANNA TO STOOP TO HER LEVEL BUT I AM LESS THAN CONTENDED TO LET HER HAVE HER WAY. BLOODY HELL!!! I THINK I HAVE TO THROW MY MORALS OUT OF THE WINDOW WHEN DEALING WITH PEOPLE LIKE THAT. HERE, I'M TRYING NOT TO LOSE MY HEAD AND SHE JUST GOTTA INSIST ON PUSHING ME SO CLOSE TO THE EDGE. FINE... SHE WANNA WAGE A WAR, SHE WILL HAVE ONE. LET'S SEE WHO WILL BE AT THE LOSING END...

Neoprint!!!

Yes, yes... I know I'm 24 already but that doesn't mean I can't take neoprints. I'm young at heart ok, in case you haven't known. Anyway, this is like my first in dunno how many donkey years. It was taken at cineleisure with some of my 09 classmates. Really enjoyed myself that day with the likes of my lil bro, Hai Hong, around. We took quite a few shots but I'm only uploading 2 of my favourites. Enjoy...

Am I relishing singlehood???

With regards to the title of this post, I'm still kinda sitting on the fence. What I do know is I'm so looking forward to this weekend!!! Well... I guess it's not hard to imagine after 2 exam papers and several tuitions. Phew~ One more paper to go and it'll be the long awaited holidays.

So what have I done for this weekend so far??? Erm... Let me think. The 1 thing of note was meeting my FMUS1 on friday night at AMK Garden Mac. To tell ya the truth, I thoroughly enjoyed the chilling out session. It has been a long while since I last spent quality time with my FMUS1. We talked about almost anything from soccer, relationship, work, studies to even marriage and having kids. How often do you share such connection and understanding with someone else??? Very very comfortable is how I feel with my FMUS1. Isn't this fascinating!!! To think we were in the same sec school but never did notice each other's existence until a few years back. From time to time, I just can't help but wonder how compatible a couple we can be. HAHAHA!!! That's probably daydreaming on my part given the other factors. Anyway, I'm just glad I have my FMUS1 and it's a friendship I truly cherish. I can only hope for a future gf with the same sort of chemistry.

Hang on a moment... I shouldn't even be thinking about having a gf or anything along the line at this moment. Although I'm not sure if I'm relishing singlehood right now, relationship is more of a liability currently. Come on... Enjoy the perks of singlehood a lil. It's true I'm forgoing companionship and other stuff but in return, I have freedom. No more worrying, no more answering to anyone. I can pretty much do whatever I like. Deep down inside, I know this is what I am craving for so I should embrace singlehood. To hell with companionship and the other crap! I have my friends and honestly speaking, I'm not quite the emotional dependent sort. At most I'll just stay at home and stone like Mendi if I feel lonely or whatsoever. LOL!!! If ever I need a reminder, I don't have to look any further. Mendi is a living example leading such a carefree single's life with no relationship related stress or torment.

In all honesty, I don't think this is a pressing issue. Just let nature take its course. Attached or being single, I believe fate has it all mapped out. At this very minute, I'm more concerned with Ah Du's snoring. I'm getting tired but I wonder how would I be able to sleep with the decibels increasing. Any how, I am still gonna try coz my eyes are getting smaller with every passing second. Goodnight and may God bless me...

Dawn of a new chapter (or so I hope....)

Phew~ Took me quite a while to customised the layout of this blog. Well... Just glad that it's finally done. Maybe many of you will think that this is a new blog of mine but believe me, this isn't. It is more like a continuation from my previous one which is still running. As a new chapter in my life unfolds, I thought it would be fitting to have another blog to mark the start.

So why do I say it's a new chapter in my life??? In all honesty, my life is still pretty much the same. You know... In sixes and sevens as usual. From all the normality, there is one significant change though. I HAVE FINALLY CALLED TIME ON MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MEI FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! Given my personality, it was certainly no mean feat I tell ya. Not that I hadn't tried before, it was more of giving in at the crucial moments because I am too sentimental and soft-hearted. Anyway, it is all over now and God! am I relieved...

As far as I am concerned, the breaking up is like overcoming an obstacle. A lot of courage and determination had to be mustered in the process due to my shortcomings. Nonetheless, I had done it and I believe it is a stepping stone to many greater things. The problem now is whether I can move on from here and not rest on my laurels.

Without a shadow of a doubt, it is going to be tough, real tough like it has always been. Thinking back, I can't help but wonder how I managed to stay alive till now. I don't know about you but I feel a part of me had been dead for quite a few years. You, my dear friends, keep the rest of me going. On countless occasions, you gave me strength to fight on. Without you people, God knows how long it will take me to break with Mei! Your company gives me the peace of mind that I won't be alone and from there, I drew the courage. I am sure I can conquer my other weaknesses as long as I have you guys - GMH clique, Tummy Gang and Poly mates.