Busy Busy February!!!

Come 28th this month, I will be 27 years of age:( Hai~ I honestly dread growing older as it means more responsibilities and commitments but I guess it's a natural and inevitable process for all normal human beings.

It's the time of the year when I need to comfort myself by acknowledging it as nothing more than a chronological thingy, as such also something sorta physical. Spiritually and emotionally, I can still remain as young as an adolescent:-) I always believe that exuberance should never die with age. If you ever allow that to happen, it'd probably be a downward spiral in such dynamic times with almost every aspects of life constantly changing.

Considering my birthday is towards the end of January, it kinda ushers in CNY and Valentine's Day. For many years gone by, this period had always been busy even when I didn't have to bother bout Valentine's Day. This year, it's even more so given my tentative Valentine's Day date with 娃娃. I'm really really looking forward to it after a long self-imposed forbearance in courtship. Having said so, it undoubtedly weighs heavy on me:( All my life, I haven't really gotten many chances to plan and spend Valentine's Day with someone special. Bizarrely, I was normally single during February ever since I started dating. Simply speaking, I don't really have much experience in this field:( What if I fail to impress??? Hai~

After Valentine's Day, I have Daphne's wedding to attend. Planning on bringing 娃娃 along:-) It would mark my 1st time bringing a date for such an occasion if she agrees on joining me. The thought of it fills me with excitement but at the same time, anxiety. Can't stop wondering how it would pan out... I'm paranoia personified so just pardon me ya. I guess it's a way of keeping myself on my toes.

With so many events coming up, I would really love to put exams in the backburner but I can't. It just bothers me to no end coz the pressure to perform well is greater than ever!!! All along, I have great expectations of myself and when I was younger, I had met or even surpassed them. Without my mum breathing down my neck, to a great degree, I inadvertently allowed myself to overlook them for many years. Once again, there's someone to give me the kick up my backside and it's certainly most welcomed. At the same time, it is instilling the fear of me failing to scale the upper echelons of academic and subsequently corporate environment. Painstakingly, I am reminded that I used to be the creme de la creme of my cohort. I am reminded that I relish being at the top and receiving all the accolades and plaudits, and I despise playing 2nd fiddle. I cannot afford to languish in the doldrums with so many big dreams - penthouse, 1 carat proposal ring, lavish wedding, shareholder of Man United etc. OMG!!! The pressure is immense! If I crumble under, everything would probably go up in smoke...

Hold my hand and ride it with me. A future with you is worth forging and may we see our dreams come to fruition...

For a Moment, I Thought I Was in a Rubbish Dump:(

Tio my 2nd kangtao at Woodlands Checkpoint yesterday evening due to a noob shit taxi driver!!! Told him we wanted to go to the checkpoint and I suppose he thought we meant every sense of the word! He fricking drove us to the designated lane for civilian cars to enter Malaysia and panicked coz he realised he couldn't alight us there and he didn't have his passport with him! Flustered, he stopped the taxi in between 2 lanes, holding up numerous cars behind us. Me being me, I told him we were gonna alight since I didn't want the taxi fare to skyrocket. Even though I saw the "No Alighting" sign, I figured staying in the cab wouldn't do us any good either so I gathered everyone and alighted.

Without even covering 20 metres, we saw this plump malay policewoman waving vigorously, almost hysterically, signalling us to get back into the cab while she walked towards us. As if her actions weren't palpable enough, she was screaming at us to get back. Seeing how agitated she was, I knew straight away that we were in hot soup:( No doubt we were walking in an area where pedestrains are not allowed, I felt her actions were uncalled for. Why scream and shout when a simple explanation would suffice!!! We're no dumbass k, unlike the taxi driver! She must be suffering from early onset of menopause, causing her hormones to be imbalanced. Rather pissed with her for freaking out my 娃娃! Knnn!!! If not for that probable 20 seconds of fame due to all the cameras zooming in on us, there's a high chance I would've argued with her. In fact, I was all set to go after getting 娃娃out of the line of fire, safely behind me.

Soon, the cab was escorted into the parking area and we were duly detained in the ICA office for trespassing into a secure and protected zone. Honestly speaking, it was merely an honest mistake and it's gravelling that we were detained for close to 2 hrs for such a trivial offence. Apart from myself who has an unfortunate resemblance to the likes of hooligan, what could a senile greyed hair uncle, botak NS guy and a lovely petite gal conjure that associates with terrorism?!?! What?!?! The uncle removing his shoes and flinging them ard (will touch on this a lil later); HH smuggling a SAR21 out of tekong and go on a shooting rampage; or 娃娃petrifying everyone with her adorable wink??? I know we need to be vigilant and stuff in such climate but rationality should prevail sometimes.

For a short period of 15 minutes or so, we thought the office was a rubbish dump. The stench of rotting salted fish enveloping the whole atmosphere in the office, almost as deadly as HH's renowned farts. LOL!!! Deodorant and perfume were quickly utilized to mitigate the situation a lil but it was to no avail. Even rodents could have passed out from that very stench! Fortunately, I had some training before from HH's fart and it certainly came in handy. I did a quick scan of the whole office to find the source and initially, I thought it was from outside as the door was ajar. Nope... The ajar door was just a deception. The culprit was the taxi driver! Bloody hell!!! Removing his shoes in the office like nobody's business. Why do we even need tear bomb or smoke bomb?!?! I think we should just amputate his feet and use them as grenades. I reckon Bruno Mars would have been proud to use them as props for his "Grenade" MTV. Haha!!!

Having concluded the source of the stench, I informed HH and 娃娃. I believed the uncle read our body language and eventually wore back his shoes. Oei uncle, you fricking took bout 15 mins to notice our body language, slow or what sia!!! Slower la, we song mah~ Just for your info, it never come across my mind to compensate you more cab fare, not after what you put us through. Put ur nose at HH's ass and inhale deeply when he farts and only then, I would consider compensating you the 40 bucks you incurred while being detained. Lol!!!

Anyway, this debacle wasn't a sign of what to follow for the rest of our JB outing. Personally, the trip couldn't have been better when you throw some sniffing, interlocking fingers and a peck on the lips into the mix. Hehe:-)

Perhaps I Played the Wrong Card...

FML!!! I feel so guilty....... It's something I don't normally do and somehow, I contrived a plan which backfired, BIG TIME!!!

The truth just added salt to insult and compounded to my misery. I am too naive, I really do... If I had stayed pessimistic right from the start, at least 2 parties would have been happier. Kiang lor! Chong beng lor! Serve me right for getting too ahead of myself!!!

What is Avan Tan now?!?! Fricking nothing for crying out loud! Oh no, I am a lowly lifeform clouded by complacency, impairing my ability to think. Yes! That's exactly what I am:(

I normally think a lot, more often than not, too much for my own good. Having said so, I always arrive at the likeliest of scenarios due to my analytical capabilities. If I hadn't deviated from my original analysis, I wouldn't have suffered such a cold hard fall.

I concede defeat....

Early Days of 2011 Are Promising:-) Is 2011 Gonna Herald a New Beginning???

5th day into a new year and I must say I am really enjoying 2011 so far. Although the KL trip wasn't as fun as the Taiwan trip, probably due to the absence of my bro and the presence of his stand-in, with Jol and SQ ard, it couldn't be that dull. In sum, it was still a good trip even though I was on a really tight budget. At the very least, I can now say that I've been to all the Zouks - SG Zouk, KL Zouk and Zoukout. Hahaha!!! Not a bad way to start off a new year...

In no uncertain terms, I believe the underlying factor for such a good start has to be a certain gal. Perhaps some guys might think that it's so pathetic to let a single gal define a man's happiness but personally I beg to differ. She's not just any gal, if you catch my drift. Lol!!! Not many gals have left a mark in my life coz I'm not that sort of guy who allows such a thing. So far, only Huishan and Mei really had some kinda impact, albeit adverse ones. I have always been crying out for the one who would come in and start to make a positive change. To be frank, it's still early days to tell but till now, the signs are pretty positive:-)

Have been spending loads of time with her lately and it certainly feels good, discounting the occasional emo spells that she put me through. The most emo being the one in KL. I felt as if I went back through time on a time machine, almost losing my sanity! Thankfully, I was able to retain my composure. If not, Ken sure kana 100X jialat jialat from me. LOL!!!

Unfortunately, there are definitely some issues to be addressed. She's wondering how a relationship could last 7-8 years and eventually progress into a blissful marriage when there are so many temptations around, with gearing divorce rates justifying her worries. Hehe... A bit of quoting here. First thing first, a relationship isn't always gonna be in a honeymoon period especially when it's long, super duper long. A relationship is very dynamic, it evolves into different stages as time passes. Before you know it, it has gone from honeymoon to more like a habit. That's when both parties need to put in effort to spice things up from time to time in order to sustain it. Nobody likes a stale and mundane kinda relationship rite!

However, for a relationship to smoothly enter the habit phase, both parties need to be very comfy with each other. As I like to put it, no barrier. To attain no barrier sorta scenario, both parties gotta know each other inside out and outside in. This is the reason why I wanna go look her up after her facial; I wanna go look her up after she's done helping her parents; I wanna spend time studying together with her; meet up with her frenz and get to know them; share a drink with her even though she thinks that it's quite disgusting after how she always bite the straw and etc. The bottomline is that you have to integrate the other party into your life and vice versa. Only way you are able to do that is to accept his/her flaws, friends and family. Hence, in my opinion, there should be no such thing as unglam or any of that bullshit coz when 2 become 1, you love the other party for who she/he is and what not.

This process of integration also acts as a deterrent to infidelity, at least from my perspective. I feel that one that is rational and mature enough wouldn't wanna jeopardize a relationship whereby one could be herself/himself and still feel so comfy for a short temporary high octane new honeymoon period with another person. No doubt honeymoon is fun and all but is it gonna be able to progress into the next phase? Is the new person gonna be able to accept all your flaws? Even if he/she is able, how long more is it gonna take? If it were up to me, I seriously wouldn't wanna put myself through all these shit. Simply a waste of both time and effort. Sadly, for my previous 2 relationships, I didn't have the say. My 2 ex-gfs probably felt they have the luxury to try out a few more times. They wanna play the game. Well... Go ahead I would say to them coz I m tired of games.

So yup, I am trying really hard to integrate her into my life even though I dun really know if she's keen. Haha!!! I hope she does:-) Let's hope she would do likewise....