If Only I Could Split Myself Into Two...

A X'mas gathering without turkey and logcake is never complete. Even so, Fmus1's own-made quiche more than made up for the absence of a logcake. The gathering at Ang Heng's place a couple of days ago was indeed a pleasant with most of the Gee Meng Hock members being present and a decent assortment of delicacies.

I honestly thought I would missed out on the gathering this year due to work. I didn't even prepare a present for the gift exchange for crying out loud. Well... Amanda isn't my Fmus1 for no reason. She's like 1 in a million kinda fren. So sweet of her to bring an additional present on my behalf for the gift exchange. If not, I probably wouldn't have gone coz gift exchange has kinda become a tradition for the clique. Thanks Fmus1!!! Oh ya, whoever chose my present for me got me a computer mouse! A most welcomed gift considering the state my current mouse is in. All in all, I enjoyed the company of my peeps, the food and pretty much everything to do with the gathering. The only sad note is I didn't get the chance to have a proper chat with Timbre:( Fret not Fmus1, the chat is merely postponed. The chat is inevitable as far as I'm concerned since it involves your future happiness.

Having said what I have mentioned bout the gathering, there's no denying the fact that there's actually another place I would wanna be at that moment. Too bad there's only one Avan but this only Avan seriously did wanna go to the far far west. If only I could be at 2 places at the same time, my joy would have been doubled. Let's keep our fingers crossed that I wouldn't be facing this sort of conundrum in the coming years...

My Yuletide Is Not So Gay:-(

Working on X'mas Eve really sucked big time!!! Watching others enjoying the gaiety of the occasion and partying away only dampened my mood. As if that's not enough, I just couldn't stop thinking bout her. For a few hours, my mind kept wondering whether she's home already; whether she's resting well after a long day; whether she had some last min impromptu meeting with her fren or frenz, while my body continued with my bartending duties. It's almost as if my mind was disconnected from my body. It's mind-boggling how I even managed that but I just did.

I have been telling myself that I am able to retract as and when things start going awry but I can no longer deceive myself. I concede I'm well and truly smittened by her... On my part, it's still too early to tell if it's a good or bad thing since I am no mind-reader. What I do know is my defence mechanism is in the process of going into overdrive!!! The only thing that entails is a complete shutdown...

Following the shutdown, the system will reboot itself. Reboot itself to which state, that I have no idea. In truth, I'm not dying to find out coz my hunch tells me that it's gonna be ugly...

上海娃娃....

I should be in lalaland by now after having bathed and stuff but if I didn't post this entry, perhaps I wouldn't be able to sleep so well in a while. It's just something that I have to get out of my system...

As some of you should already know by now, I'm currently working as a bartender at Shanghai Dolly. Up till last night, I hadn't brought any frenz to check out the place or having frenz visiting me at work on their own accord. For the 1st time, I, myself, brought a fren to Dolly. I thought she might like the concept and certainly hope she wasn't disappointed by the experience. At the very least, I tried my best by treating her to a Flaming Mendi's Fav Car and Bacardi 151. I know my splurging on girls days were behind me but I still relish buying a drink or two for someone I cherish or fancy.

Given she isn't a very good drinker that she claims to be, she got kinda tipsy after 3 drinks - Flaming Lambo, Vodka Cran (courtesy of Jin Zhong) and Bacardi 151. Maybe Santa was giving me an advance X'mas gift, I was able to invade her personal space due to the alcohol surging through her bloodstream. Before you even start to think the obscene, let me stop you right here and now!!! No doubt she was kinda vulnerable like a lost sheep, it never cross my mind to devour her like a blood-thirsty rabid wolf. I won't deny I had done some unglorious stuff in the past, deep down inside, I am seriously not a desperado scouring the dancefloor for drunkard chicks. I would say the only advantage I took of her was sniffing her hair, something I always do as a show of my affection to someone that I genuinely fancy. It certainly brought back a tinge of deja vu. Ya know, like all of a sudden, I was back in an all familiar place. A place of wanting to fall in love again. It's kinda paradoxical coz it brought fear along with warmth. In terms of my clique's lingo, this kinda paradox is known as "Kangtao". Lol!!!

How I wish I could just turn back the hands of time and go back to the days when I enjoyed courtships and relationships without having to think of the obstacles and pitfalls. I want to be optimistic but can I?!?! The harsh realities of life forbid me from doing. Once you let your guard down, you are fully exposed and susceptible to whatever kinda shit that's out there. If only I could have her as my 娃娃, things would be so very much easier. Nope! We dun live in a world of happily ever after. We live in a world of Oops! Sorry Avan, I think you have shit thrown right smack in ur fricking face!!! SONG BO! PANG BO! Hahahaha!!! Sad but true....

I shall retreat to my lalaland for now where I could enjoy my few hours of 娃娃time....

2010 in a Nutshell...

It's that time of the year again, month of festivities and celebrations. As Christmas and New Year draw closer, they also herald the end of 2010...

Ask yourself my friends, "What have I accomplished or experienced in 2010?". I am certain everyone of you has gone through a wide spectrum events. Perhaps some of you with more trials and tribulations, while others are filled with more joyous occasions. Whatever it is, I think we should all look forward to 2011 coz personally, I have a feeling that it's gonna a year full of surprises and excitement.

On a more personal note, 2010 has been eventful for me to say the least. In terms of academic, 2010 officially marked the end of my highest qualification as an O'Levels holder and ascended me to an undergraduate with a Diploma in Business Administration. In case some of you haven't known, I'm doing Bachelor of Accountancy & Finance in SIM under University of London. So far, school has been fun due to the fact that I am blessed with the company of the 3 Avan's Angels - Puiling, Jolene and Audrey. Lol!!! I know in no uncertain terms that many guys in sch r envious of me. Sorry dudes, they are my Angels so come near them and I'd slash ur balls off with parang. Haha!!!

As for my job, I no longer work at the sleazy Ipanema. I am too cultured for a place like dat. Eh! Bo la, bo la, just kidding nia... I just wanted a change of environment. You peeps can see me concocting Flaming Lambos now at Shanghai Dolly. With a new workplace and sch, it's inevitable when it comes to meeting new pple. So far, I've acquainted myself with a few new frenz from work. Conversely, I haven't made any new frenz in sch, or hav I?!?! This Audrey la. She's also from SP but we took different majors. I already knew her name and stuff back then coz I thought she's the most attractive out of the 08 gals and my opinion hasn't changed. It was kinda like a coverted admiration hence, I didn't go all gung-ho and approach and chat her up. Not my style and never will be given what a shy guy I am. She had the "dao" face too which further deterred me from making any moves. Haha!!! As such, we never did talk back in our SP days. Yup, that's why I ain't sure if she falls under the new fren category. Actually it doesn't matter since I've always wanted to know her and I do now:-) I reckon that's more important.

2010 is also a year which I revisited both Taiwan and Zoukout. I am not going to deny there were some conflicts during the Taiwan trip considering the sheer size of the travelling group but all in all, I am certain that all of us had loads of fun barring claud. I so wanna go back to Taiwan soon!!!!!!!!! The same can't be said for Zoukout after all the major kangtaos leading up to it. All the "got tix, no tix" drained much of my enthusiasm. Worse still, compounding to my misery, I have no idea how I could lose my ticket before entering and made to pay a bloody 200 bucks to some fricking "ang moh" who was gloating bout how much profit he made from selling tix to desperate pple who couldn't get the tix through the proper channel. I was all prepared to go home coz I didn't wanna be held to ransom but my steadip frenz couldn't bear to see me go home and paid most of the 200 bucks. On hindsight, I was glad that I bought the 200 tix. If not, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy the company of my fellow zoukouters.

In sum, 2010 has been unkind to me with regards to monetary losses. 2 fines totally 500 bucks and then the zoukout fiasco. Hai~ It's ok. Who knows??? Perhaps 2011 is gonna be a "dua dua tan tan" year for me!

Oops! One Got Away...

I dun care how many of you may beg to differ, I AM A GOOD SINGAPORE CITIZEN! To date, I've contributed a total of 500 bucks to the government. First to NEA then National Park, both being arms of the government. Tell me how am I not a good citizen when I'm just a poor student who have contributed 500 of my hard-earned money. Sobs sobs~

Good citizen aside, I am still a normal human being. Being normal means I have constraints. In the context of this entry, the constraint is the threshold of holding secrets. Just like a balloon, it burst when it's overly inflated. I won't say I've imploded but I cannot hold so many secrets and eventually I had to let one out. The crucial thing is which one did I let out. This issue threads along a fine line between trustworthiness and betrayal. Fret not, my friends, who have secrets with me. Being a fricking steadip fren as always, there's no way I would let your secrets be known. They're safe with me and always will be.

Even so, something had to go and inevitably, I had to let my own secret be known. By doing so, I am not betraying any frenz and at the same time, lightening the burden of bearing too many secrets at 1 time. Having disclosed my secret to a few frenz, I'm not too overly worried coz they r as steadip as me. Hahaha!!! I believe it's safe with them. In the event that it isn't, it doesn't really matter. In the light of recent events, it will count for nought in the foreseeable future. Anyway, the secret serves a purpose, it proves that I still hold onto something indelible.

"A flying book that flew across a few desks that caused a bleeding lips started it all...."

Hiatus is Over!!!

Wow!!!!!! Finally the hiatus is over!!!!!!!

I must say this is partly to do with Ah Hui. Wait! Before you even think it's Huishan, it's definitely not....... Come on, dun be so shallow pls. I have friends with Hui in their names k. Have been reading her blog lately and it gives me some motivation to at least update my own.

9 months is quite a long period for me to backtrack on past events to detail on my blog so let's just keep it to the more recent.

In case some of you haven't known, I have graduated from SP and my highest qualification now is Diploma, no longer O'levels!!!!!! Having left it hanging years back, I've always wanted to finish what I didn't complete back then. Hence, this graduation is really really a great relief. Talking bout unfinished business, I've also resumed taking my bike lessons. I wonder if it's a sign, I'm steadily accomplishing my various goals 1 at a time. Steadip!!!!!!!!

Oh! The most important thing that I have to mention in this entry is that at least for once in my life, I'M AN UNDERGRADUATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's true that I didn't get into my desired university - NTU. At the very least, I'm doing the course that I want to at SIM. As long as I make the best out of this, the eventual outcome would probably still be the same. Although I haven't really gone into full throttle in terms of working hard in my studies, I managed to pass my bridging exams like I always do. Hahaha!!!!!! Not trying to be proud here coz it's really nothing to be proud of with just passes, just merely stating a fact. Hopefully it won't be too long before i really have something to be proud of to mention in my blog, and that's to get As for my modules.

I guess this is about it for this entry. Ur father is really tired after 3 days straight of giving tuitions and then 3 days straight of working at F1 and Ipa. I shall go take my long-awaited rest now...


PS: Hui ah, be strong k and may u find a steadip steadip BF soon. Yo sis, jiayou and meet up for dinner in sch soon. Grand lao bu, stay healthy in aussie land and good luck for ur exams. Bro HH, mai too garang in NS but also dun be too relac jack. Hope u r surviving well in army.

"Mondays With Psycho" Chapter 4 - The Invisible Caste System

Not too far away from our homeland, there used to be a country governed by a rigid hierarchical caste system. Back then, it's almost impossible to move out of a particular class, one could only resign to fate and mingle in their own class. If you were fortunate enough to be born with a golden spoon in your mouth, you would lead a life blessed with riches. On the other hand, if you were languishing in the lower classes, you would be held in contempt and discriminated upon for the rest of your worthless being. Due to such a vast disparity in status and fortune, the differientiation was obvious; with the interclasses' relationships being boss and servant, or worse still, tyrant and slave. Although such a deplorable system has long since been abolished, it is still prevalent to a certain extent in India.

In comparison, Singapore now has a democratic government built on meritocracy. Democratic as it may be, meritocracy has constructed an invisible caste system that grips the lives of all Singaporeans. Instead of being based on one's family lineage, this invisible system scrutinizes one's academic results which are deemed as indicators of one's intelligence and likely determinants of one's future wealth. As a result, the population is being subconsciously segregated into classes of academic attainment. Consequentially, this invisible hand is pushing us towards materialism that is slowly devouring the morality that makes us human, causing us to forsake the fundamental pleasures of life. Gone were the days when you could enjoy the company of your family and friends without subconsciously comparing yourself with your siblings and peers in terms of academic achievement and/or income.

Inevitably, one would seek other forms of self-satisfaction to diminish their inferiority complex. For example, when you lose out in qualifications, you try to win by appearance........

Too fricking lazy to finish this entry. Lol!!!!!!!!!