Busy Busy February!!!

Come 28th this month, I will be 27 years of age:( Hai~ I honestly dread growing older as it means more responsibilities and commitments but I guess it's a natural and inevitable process for all normal human beings.

It's the time of the year when I need to comfort myself by acknowledging it as nothing more than a chronological thingy, as such also something sorta physical. Spiritually and emotionally, I can still remain as young as an adolescent:-) I always believe that exuberance should never die with age. If you ever allow that to happen, it'd probably be a downward spiral in such dynamic times with almost every aspects of life constantly changing.

Considering my birthday is towards the end of January, it kinda ushers in CNY and Valentine's Day. For many years gone by, this period had always been busy even when I didn't have to bother bout Valentine's Day. This year, it's even more so given my tentative Valentine's Day date with 娃娃. I'm really really looking forward to it after a long self-imposed forbearance in courtship. Having said so, it undoubtedly weighs heavy on me:( All my life, I haven't really gotten many chances to plan and spend Valentine's Day with someone special. Bizarrely, I was normally single during February ever since I started dating. Simply speaking, I don't really have much experience in this field:( What if I fail to impress??? Hai~

After Valentine's Day, I have Daphne's wedding to attend. Planning on bringing 娃娃 along:-) It would mark my 1st time bringing a date for such an occasion if she agrees on joining me. The thought of it fills me with excitement but at the same time, anxiety. Can't stop wondering how it would pan out... I'm paranoia personified so just pardon me ya. I guess it's a way of keeping myself on my toes.

With so many events coming up, I would really love to put exams in the backburner but I can't. It just bothers me to no end coz the pressure to perform well is greater than ever!!! All along, I have great expectations of myself and when I was younger, I had met or even surpassed them. Without my mum breathing down my neck, to a great degree, I inadvertently allowed myself to overlook them for many years. Once again, there's someone to give me the kick up my backside and it's certainly most welcomed. At the same time, it is instilling the fear of me failing to scale the upper echelons of academic and subsequently corporate environment. Painstakingly, I am reminded that I used to be the creme de la creme of my cohort. I am reminded that I relish being at the top and receiving all the accolades and plaudits, and I despise playing 2nd fiddle. I cannot afford to languish in the doldrums with so many big dreams - penthouse, 1 carat proposal ring, lavish wedding, shareholder of Man United etc. OMG!!! The pressure is immense! If I crumble under, everything would probably go up in smoke...

Hold my hand and ride it with me. A future with you is worth forging and may we see our dreams come to fruition...